★ ☆ ★☆ まじでかー！いっちゃえいっちゃえ！★ ☆ ★☆

Living the dream

2012-02-09T18:21:00.004+08:00

I had just spent the craziest 10 minutes of my life. I am still feeling bonkers about it but I am not sure how to begin.

Oh well, here goes! I had a go at the FIRST XI. The FIRST XI is a reality TV show to find the best amateur players in Singapore better explained by watching the link here > http://entertainment.xin.msn.com/en/celebrity/buzz/asia/photos.aspx?cp-documentid=5847439

Close to a decade ago, I fell into depression knowing that I can no longer live my dream. You get told to stop playing the kid’s game at some point in your life. Some get told at age 12 when they are taking their PSLE, some 16 and some at 35 when they retire from professional football but they all get told. I was told to move on and I did.

9AM

On Saturday, the trials started for the FIRST XI and this is how it happened. I queue at 8:50AM but there were two gangsters in front of me. They were smoking for the entire duration and were doing their best portraying a badass. It felt like a matter of time that some random kid gets “chosen” for a fight. It got super smoky and to be honest, my confidence was taking a beating every single time a kid walked past. Most of them were tall, tan, ripped with bulging veins. Fitness wise, I should be running 5 metres behind these guys in a 6 metre race and judging from their juggling skills, let’s not even go there. The fact that I was queuing alone amidst the jolly hordes of football teams didn’t help.

The organizers were going around asking if everyone got their documents ready and that was about the only thing I was most confident about. The queueing went on for a bit and it got so depressing I thought I hit rock bottom until a minute later when I realized what rock bottom was – I forgot my IC. From that moment, my intentions to quit the trial grew so strong I left and went on bus 53 – I was on my way home.

Life does mess or perk you up in strange ways you can never anticipate. The bus went further and further away from the Stadium. The bus is going away and I am not able to stop it. I am just a human passenger carried along by the metallic structure of the bus. I am so far away now that I cannot see the stadium anymore. The hustle and bustle along with hopes and dreams so apparent in my queue earlier can’t be heard anymore. I am already in Serangoon and not in Bishan. I am going home back to where I came from, back to what life has been since my injury. OMG! It’s been so long I’ve forgotten how Bishan Stadium looks like!! OMG! What does Bishan look like?! What does a football look like!??? Holy!... No really, I was actually only 6 stops away from the Stadium but you just cannot help feeling emotional about it. I did had an inkling of bursting into tears and I am not afraid to say it because it felt like I was going to regret this for the rest of my life. The moment felt like I had just abandoned my child at an orphanage and this was probably not an understatement.

I saw a cab and felt compelled to alight for the bus and run for it, believing that catching the taxi was the one most important decision of my life. We headed for my IC and back to Bishan Stadium.
The bus ride had worked wonders.

9.59AM

I did the whole detour in less than an hour and on the way down Boundary Road, I got so hyped up, I thought I might as well challenged all these young punks to a marathon right on the spot but the reality is, it was time to queue again. It was queueing and queueing and queueing and queueing and queueing and queueing and queueing and queueing and queueing and queueing I can’t emphasize enough how much queuing there was involved. Nothing much going on considering how everyone else standing next to you is suppose to be your rival. I believe the crew got bored just as much because they started going around with their camera looking to interview players. Some dude 2 places ahead of me got asked “What are you willing to give up for football?” and it got him stunned. He was lost for words and which he said sheepishly, “errr.. I got a full time job”. I would have been lost for words too. It’s been such a long time since I thought about this question that I forgot what it was like to readily give up everything for the game. The next question was “Define football in a few words” and he was lost for words again. I would again too. I haven’t thought about it for so long.

The questions lingered in my head for the next couple of hours while I waited and now I know my answer. Football is Life and Death… NOT! Football is bigger than Life and Death.

The queue ended at a reception desk finally where I was registered and ushered into the grandstand. Hyped up! Let’s go! Let’s go kick some ass!! WOOHOO! YAY! FUCK! Nope… There were 2000+ odd peeps already sitting in the Stadium and my only instruction is to wait. Laid out right in front of the “spectators” are a set of drills where the trialist would attempt to impress the coaches.

The first station is on dribbling. You are to dribble past a yellow cone, three human figures and round a yellow cone and come back the same way you have gone.

The second station is passing. You are to pass the ball into small nets that can only contain the size of 1 and ¼ of football.

The third station is shooting. A canvas is placed over the goalline and holes are cut onto the canvas where each hole represent a different difficulty garnering different points (i.e. 5,10,20, 100)

The fourth is beep test. It is basically shuttle running and the most discussed and feared station among the players.

We sat there and contemplated over and over in our head the techniques we are going to adopt and the calm of mind that must not waver. You were asked to be awake so that when your number is called, you would not end up missing your opportunity. The bad news was that, that morning I got up at 3.30am and it was nothing short of Gargantuan to ask.

Along the way, Gurmit Singh and Jean Danker came along and they are to give a rousing introduction of the FIRST XI. They were going “… something … something… of the FIRST XI!” and everyone was to scream and cheer. No one was really bothered when the time to go live came. I must mention that with all that terrible planning, that it was difficult to get the crowd going but something happened..........

Gurmit Singh grabbed the mike and said this exact words “Don’t be Idiots! If you can’t even listen to simple instructions, don’t even come for the trial” WOWSER WOWEE WOW! This has no doubt managed to rile the crowd up but it also managed to incur plenty of specified wrath. 2000 people are going to go back and tell at least 5 of their friends or family members. 10,000 will go about telling even more and the world will know of Gurmit’s Idiot exploits. Idiot.

An Indian emcee was hired to alleviate the situation. He became the most important man that day as his energy and humour helped stopped the event from turning into a riot. I heard from another player that he is Mediacorp’s audience trainer and we can all see Mediacorp’s got themselves a good man. He was at least humorous and you got to give it to him and the crew members for trying their best to keep the event organized. I must reiterate that there are no good words from me for the people in charge of the planning. I would find it hard to believe if they had blamed it on budget or that this is due to the unexpected reception. I reckon the limited resources are simply how stingy they are.

There were not many places to stare at to keep my occupied while waiting. There was the mosque and oddly every time I stared at it, it made me think about religion. The MC was a thankful distraction as he made funny comments every now and then. There was obviously the pitch where you want to measure your ability with. There were a paltry number of players though who were appalling with their dribbling – some took the ball all the way into the goalpost and their antics worked almost too effectively as a multiplier on any demoralization factor. There were the crew members, made up mainly of girls and some of the eye candies became the hottest topics for discussion of the day. I glance sometimes at the train depot behind the stadium where cyclist occasionally breeze past on the park connector. Yet, to remain focused, I had to constantly remind myself to think about my game, trying very hard to recall how I used to play good football and be admired for it, reminding myself not to sit cross legged and not to injure myself.

“1213”

“1241”

“3123”

“3233”

“1134”

“1033”

“1088”

“2135”

“2233”

“3050”

“1234”

“….”

“……”

“3055”

“1244”

“……………………”

“3124”

“1241”

”…………………………………”

“3156”

“………………………………………………………”

“..”

“……………”

“……………………………”

“………………………………………..”

“……………………………………………………………..”

“……………………………”

Some numbers felt longer than others while some numbers felt shorter. Some had a familiar ring to it and at some point, all the numbers sounded like “ner ner ner ner”

“ner ner ner ner”

and after a gruelling 9 hours and 2000 odd number tags later, “1837!”.

My morale from a downright low just shot up into a high at the sound of the number and bounced straight up from the stands. It was my turn, my chance, my shot at glory and then invigoration. I did the best warm up in my life. It was sunset by then.

6PM

It was my time as we lined up and ran onto the pitch. I was determined not to screw up my dribbling so I went for slow and steady. It was slow but I didn’t screw up and we thankfully moved on to the next stage, passing. I got the ball into the first net and I surprised even myself. The second one was really close and the third and four just went out of the way.

Next is shooting and it was suppose to be my forte. Again, I am hyped up for it and again, it was about waiting again. I went for power to try and hit it into the 5 point hole. The shots impressed the coach enough from his expression but I screwed up my third and fourth shot. One ball actually went out of the stadium.

The last station got everyone worried and it was the beep test. I was worried too because the last time I had a shut eye, that was 20 hours ago. My muscles felt tense and I am up against kids. 18 and 19 year old KIDS!! Oh god help me!

It was finally our turn after yet another long wait. The coach explained what was needed to be done and the whistle went off. 1-1, 1-2, …, …, 2-4, 2-5, 2-6, 2-7….. it felt forever and then, 8-1, 8-2, 8-3 and I was grasping for oxygen, sprinting for my life to catch up with the sound of the whistle. I eventually succumbed at 8-6.

13 hours of wait and it has finally ended. It felt like something close to relief. We were congratulating each other for completing the trials and making jokes about producing a dramatic expression when the camera rolled on us. We were also congratulating this player by the name of Thanesh. This boy hit a beep test of 9-9 and was obviously the most skilled of the lot when we were juggling the balls.

And…………………………… we waited yet again. The results came an hour later and because the cameras weren’t rolling anymore and that we are the last bunch of trialists left, we were asked to go to the stands to collect the results. There was no sombre or tense moments as the announcer just said “If I call your number, it just means you are in. Go and collect your cert. 1873.”

It took me a couple of seconds before it registered and I couldn’t believe my ears! I was through! I am going to Hollywood! Ahhhhh!! *Screams* *Hop* *Screams*. No, I didn’t react because I was afraid to hurt anybody’s feelings but I was overjoyed.

This whole time, a girl was waiting for me in the supporter’s stand and her name is Kitty. She had constantly sent me encouragement SMSes the whole time and it helped. Today I made it to the 2^nd rounds, the remaining 100+ out of 2000+ people.

Punggol friends

2012-02-07T14:54:00.001+08:00

greed is good

2012-02-03T09:19:00.001+08:00

The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. - Gordon Gekko

集中

2012-01-27T16:19:00.002+08:00

The start of the Chinese New Year mean new things so we were keeping a lookout for the zodiac readings for the year. I know how it's always a generic forecast like the daily horoscope page. Anyways, mine says it will be an exceptionally good year, tells me to relax and not bother myself with things. I guess it means money will grow wings and fly straight into my pocket. Kitty's one pretty straight forward - it just says she's gotta stay focus. So then, what does it mean to focus?

I have had a hard time comprehending my focus to the definition focus and that while I am having a go at my boring textbook once again. For you to get a picture of what I am going through, try this:
"A leveraged buyout is an investment structure designed for an investor or group of investors to take a public company private by purchasing all outstanding stock using a large quantity of borrowed capital."

There are 34 words in one fucking sentence.
There are 5 components/nouns in the sentence and that is just too many points to note.
Seriously who wrote this shit? Haven't their english teachers taught them not to cluster fuck everything together? It looks like junk.

It's difficult not to glaze over the words when you are half-inspired in the sleep department and then merrily think to yourself that you have conquered yet another page to know on exam day that you haven't.

Focus as a noun refers to the center of interest or activity. Oh no... I don't think my textbook is even at the corner of my interest circle. it's actually miles away at some carnival with games, booze and hot babes.

Focus as a cognitive process refers to selectively concentrating on one aspect of the environment while ignoring other things. Better luck here but not really a trait for me either. I get distracted almost too easily, even by myself. I can think "Bale" and it branches out into a wonderful mind map of a dream team 1st 11.

It's tough really - always been my problem. Now it really seems like a problem. I feel like a kid suffering from attention deficit disorder or something along the line. Maybe I need to drop into rehabilitation like Lindsay, Britney and Tiger Woods.

Wait, I think just distracted myself with the defeatist thought. What I really need is to recognize that the problem is not life or the world, it really is just me. I chose to have these problems which also means I am the solution.
What I really really need is that spark to fight life in the face.

If you find this somewhat familiar, here's for you and me: Stop living life like a drone and fucking fight it in the face.

2012-01-26T14:44:00.001+08:00

2012-01-26T14:37:00.005+08:00

we got up early that day to see the world in a different light

2012-01-26T14:37:00.003+08:00

2012-01-26T14:36:00.006+08:00

2012-01-26T14:36:00.005+08:00

2012-01-26T14:36:00.003+08:00

2012-01-26T14:36:00.001+08:00

2012-01-26T14:35:00.004+08:00

2012-01-26T14:35:00.003+08:00

2012-01-26T14:35:00.001+08:00

2012-01-26T14:34:00.006+08:00

2012-01-26T14:34:00.005+08:00

2012-01-26T14:34:00.003+08:00

2012-01-26T14:34:00.001+08:00

2012-01-26T14:33:00.005+08:00

2012-01-26T14:33:00.003+08:00

2012-01-26T14:33:00.001+08:00

2012-01-26T14:32:00.002+08:00

2012-01-26T14:32:00.001+08:00

2012-01-26T14:31:00.002+08:00

2012-01-26T14:31:00.001+08:00

Slyvester Stallone Quote from Rocky Balboa

2012-01-25T15:08:00.001+08:00

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.

It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward.

That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth.

But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!

- got it from Sebast's

the makings of a project leader

2012-01-25T15:01:00.002+08:00

I came across this in the digital life, thought it might come in handy

Each project is a battle and the leader is the general leading the troops into battle.
As chruchill said "one who fails to plan, plans to fail"
Each project must have a comprehensive plan that has been thought through.
The plan must include
1. the project objectives,
2. scope,
3. execution strategy
4. team struture and roles of members,
as well as
5. control and monitoring mechanism

see the world for what it is

2012-01-10T15:09:00.006+08:00

A certain Mr. Lee once said that if we had an inferior government, our values of the properties we owned would be slashed in half and our women would be working as maids for other countries.
To be fair, I don't think he meant it as a swipe but you would have to agree it was an insensitive poke at our neighbours, the Philippines.

A few years ago, I had a discussion with my former colleague, Sally (not her real name to protect her identity). She provided a Pinay's insight of her comrades working as maids. She said that a good amount of Filipinos, mostly professionals/executives have been trying to change the image of the Philippines. She told me she once got a call was asked on her nationality due to her accent. She replied she is Filipino and her response was, "Fillipinos can also work as executives ah? not all maids meh?"

She explained in dignified anger how her fellow country women made a bad name for her country no matter how she tried as she is trying now (explaining to a Singaporean). She also said things were in much better condition when it was in the hands of the United States of America. She said in despair later "the country is corrupted and in a mess now". It is quite apparent that the issue stems from the government and there are reasons to understand why she is angry with the maids - for the lack of trying harder.

Maid or not - I learnt something from this conversation. I learnt that my former colleague is a proud person and so are the legion of Fillipinos who want to make a change to the image of their country. It is pride that makes them different from the maids and it is pride that makes what Singapore is about. Singaporeans happen to be a very proud bunch of people who refuse to take anything less than what they believe they deserve and in a peculiar way, it is comforting to know you can trust these proud fellow Singaporeans because they would never allow Mr. Lee's hypothetical state to materialize.

Meanwhile, this article teaches how kids should not be protected from the world, especially so in sheltered Singapore. Check out some parenting tips from Angelina Jolie:
http://www.babyrazzi.com/2012/01/09/angelina-jolie-hopes-her-kids-will-see-the-world-for-what-it-is/

fengshui for the water dragon year 2012

2012-01-10T15:09:00.001+08:00

what mourinho thinks of the Barca result

2012-01-09T11:12:00.000+08:00

Happy 2012 where the end is near

2012-01-03T14:28:00.004+08:00

first of all, sorry about all the reproaching posts that's been carrying this blog along. It's almost like I am morphing into an house elf, self inflicting in the knowledge that I have done something wrong or not doing enough.

anyways now, back to blogging. Just over lunch, I overheard a conversation from three blokes who from the conversation I was able to make out works for UOB. There was gossip going on about the girlfriend of Wee Ee Chong, son of Wee Cho Yaw. She was a 28 years old, already a shareholder of UOB and at one point offered the position of the Director. The bloke telling the story was rather disgruntled narrating the story as he associated her as a "28 year old Director strutting around like she know her stuff". She did turned down the role and remained as a shareholder... One of the guys encouraged the reluctant two to head back to the office and persuaded again that since no one's in the office anyway and we are not really working now. Posting it on the internet shows that gossips and rumours has taken a whole new level these days - just to prove my point.

the last part of 2011 is rather happening. apart from the errands, redecorating my room, sending xmas greetings to all my clients, saving the strays campaign, seeing the quarry for the first time, late night winning eleven, late night football, exploring bishan park on my bike, lunch and dinner with some old pals, standing on the old railway, getting a bicycle, getting an ipad 2, zoukout, siloso countdown party and some random puma social event w/ Nich.. urm, think that's about it and it was good fun!

Writing needs plenty of nourishment. Everything has to be in order, diet, sleep, entertainment, social life... very much like the Sims. You become inspired when those needs/factors are fulfilled. At this moment, in terms of writing nourishment, I am emaciated.

There's the other thing and that's practice so for a start (in year 2012), here's my new year resolution:

1. work out damn bloody hell until you are ripped (and to achieve that: stop eating so much and drink much more water in 2011)
2. become a CAIA Holder.
3. practice writing cause it makes your mind swell and that's suppose to be a good thing.

Have a blast of 2012 guys!

on holiday

2011-12-22T09:21:00.002+08:00

I just realized I got such a retarded profile photo on my blog. About more than a month ago, I came up with something - dunking a time capsule underground on the 11/11/11. It was an idea of a romantic but we settled for under the bed to later find that the treasure chest doesn't fit. It was decided to be kept in the wardrobe eventually. When creating a time capsule, a significant amount of thought is put into it - it's reflection time.

Anyways, it is very much what this holiday is about. The freedom to think and do whatever you want to - apart from the inclement weather prohibiting quite a bit of me.
On Tuesday, I got up early, went straight to Punggol when I saw the pleas to form a rally with Channel News Asia from the Save the Strays campaign. I couldn't make it in time and were left wondering around the waterway. There was a slight drizzle but I was revelling in a stroll. I came across a bunch of pre-schools who were squealing in excitement in the waterplay oblivious to the oncoming rain. A pack of avid joggers breezed past me. Along the waterway are foreign workers - the unsung heroes that built this beautiful neighbourhood. In my pouch is my unwanted sports shades and I handed them to one of the workers. "为什么这样好?" he said. I told him that it would come in handy for him and he kept thanking me profusely. It feels good to make someone's day and so, I am going to get a carton of 100 plus and bring to the Emerald Construction Site on one hot sunny day. These guys are building my house and they deserve a pat on the back.
and like how life is never certain in many ways, I had to rush to the washroom and so.... I ran. At the bus interchange I reached, I saw a young cat approaching cautiously to an abandoned umbrella. Her friend was watching cautiously from behind. When the first cat finally deemed it safe to play with, the second cat joined in. They tried to mount the umbrella by taking turns to leap on it.
After enjoying watching their mischief for awhile, I decided that we will need a shot of this so I got closer. The first cat got really curious and came towards me - kept its distance and just stared blankly. I tried not to move so as not to arouse the attention on the other kitty. The remaining kitty found a way with the umbrella and lied lazily under the umbrella.
It's fasinating how these little creatures can make someone's day just like that too.
This is the grand scheme of things, a network that binds us altogether.

mid-20s crisis??

2011-09-09T15:25:00.004+08:00

Either age is catching up or the alcohol's having a degenerating effect but I am surely growing quite stupid. I wish I can attribute this decline of my english language to something but it's one of those times where I can hardly put the frustrations indifferently on the blame game. I think it's me.

Some sort of defiance-turned-negligence brewing for too long. I need to be running or something.... It feels like the internal organs are vibrating, wanting to get out.... u know why they call it pent up frustration, something wants to be let out. I am feeling all that now and people do crazy things when things come down to this...

I don't even know where to begin, or what to feel upset for......... i may just sleep it off tonight or do something extreme or something stupid........ but looking on from the grander scheme of things, I am nothing but a mulling crybaby..................

stop crying.

to dos

2011-08-19T18:57:00.000+08:00

1. shades
2. passport
3. moisturizer
4. shaver
5. slippers
6. singlet
7. t-shirt
8. iphone charger
9. notes on the iphone
10. hair wax and spray
11. contacts lens solution

what is love?

2011-08-03T10:51:00.004+08:00

love is...... not an infatuation for a school hunk/belle
It is not admiration or envy for a person or a dream
It is not a preconceived notion..... or the fulfilment of an idea.... found on your tv screen..

Look around you and you see...
Mom, dad... your family..
the girl/boy next door you grew up with...
your pet dog......
the trees swaying outside the window...
birds flying free...
ants scurrying on the concrete floor...
These and everything we can see, hear, smell and feel forms the stream of the universe.....
Pecks in the grander scheme of things...
the continuous cycle that gives us life as we know it.....

...and you know when you know....
it's when you realized you are standing in the middle of all that cosmic intensity....

...that's love.

english footy maestro

2011-08-02T04:44:00.005+08:00

attacked by mosquitoes early at 4am today and decided now to do what I like. Write about football:

a team like West Ham could use some of the best reliable english player to bring them back.

Green - not the best but probably the best choice after any keeper playing in the top flight
Luke Young - find it hard to stamp his first team position at Aston Villa
Woodgate - injury prone and released by Tottenham but nonetheless a top performer on his day
Scott Dann - supposedly high sought after by other clubs but definitely one to go for if the rumours are well, rumours...
Paul Konchesky - still a good player, Torres made him look bad by making the least effort to chase any of his crosses/passes but making most effort in expression that Paul has the worst delivery in the world.

Joey barton - one of 3 most outstanding players for Newcastle
Scott Parker - West Ham must keep their captain
Owen hargreaves - the missing jigsaw in the england setup since he came off as the best player in the last euros tournament, still rated highly by Ferguson if not for his unfortunate fate with injuries

Carlton Cole - strong player, good holding player that brings in play... still to improve, need the right guidance
Kevin Nolan - Captain of newcastle and will definitely inspire, can play the connector between Carlton Cole and Midfield
Craig Bellamy - I know he's welsh but they would need speed, he's the man

Coach: Sam Allardyce - who better to manage the bad boys

2011-07-21T21:57:00.001+08:00

2011-07-07T23:43:00.016+08:00

I am upset right now. I am so fucking upset right now that I just roared at my sister while she was trying to close the door. It was for her boyfriend calling our home line close to midnight yesterday. It's 11:44pm now and blocks away can hear me. I am so fucking angry now that I can feel heat emanating from my skin.

Shirley Tan Xue Li is my best friend's wife. It sure came a long way.
I knew this girl from Poly but she had no clue who I was. Considering I had some ekin chen hairdo, it was probably better off she couldn't remember anything about me but jokes aside, here's how I got to know her.
We went to java class or was it C++? ok, it was some programming class and she sat diagonally across me. She wasn't prom queen material and even plain Jane might be inappropriately used to describe her. The point is she just wasn't the popular sort - you know what I mean, the girl who hangs out with one other girl all the time, if not she would hang on her own.
But why? There's this thing about Shirley, she's got the potential to be a prom queen. Her features and her height was a stand out for me. It's that potential to change or magnify the ordinary into greatness that excites me but I don't think I ever spoke with her.
Then, there was friendster. It was the in thing to add everyone in your course, module or whatever.. the more friends you've got regardless of ah mao ah gou, you win (....sort of, because friendster eventually turned into a bloody competition) ...and so I added her.
We haven't met at all, not sure how, but last I remember we were having phone conversations and almost everytime we did, I was in the army. I got to learn more about her life and somehow, I became her confidant and she would tell me about how useless the boyfriend is, how the boyfriend would bring her to a fancy restaurant but make her make for his meals, how the boyfriend is such a pervert, and how he would drop everything (particularly, his job) to play the online game, maple story, and lots of bla bla bla bla. (I am naming him the boyfriend because I have nothing personal against him). Honestly, at that point, I felt aggrieved for her and stayed up long hours just so I could listen to her or at least agree with her (she will pay testament to that). Even though we have never met, we developed a friendship... By friendship I meant, what real friends do for each other. She called one day, we spoke and she cried.... she really cried her heart out that night. I could feel the pain and I know that she hasn't let it go to anyone for the longest time and I am just guessing it was sincerity that opened her up. We met up and I learnt that life hasn't gotten any better for her because she was weighted down by the burden of the boyfriend's father's death. This was when; I first suggested the idea of Yuxiang and Shirley.

Yuxiang is just such a lovable guy - he's the sort you want to hang out with because it's fun to have him around. He is very real, I know because he sucked at the game Bluff and after you have known him for awhile, he's one of the kindest souls you'd ever known.

How did we meet? It came an even longer way. We were both sent to class 3C and we were assigned our desk and he was next to mine. I found it difficult to reconcile his ah beng coloured hair and his wit. His level of mandarin was much better than mine and I would ridiculously challenge his smug remarks with my half past six mandarin and then struggle to keep up with the banter. My pathetic Chinese probably worked out an ego boost for him and he got carried away. Barely knowing him, he started calling me heng heng chicken rice and such with everyone else obviously amused.

I had a really really really bad temper and if you think its madness what you are looking at today, it was hell in those days.

We played football after class and he started his chant again. I went for the ball, aimed it straight at his balls and walked away, secondary school ah beng style. Honestly, I was surprised it hit him where I wanted it to because seriously, even David Beckham might not have achieved that feat and simply because of that, guilt got the better of me and I couldn’t wait for the day to be over so I could apologize. I mean, I didn’t even stay long enough to watch him roll on the floor in agony so you can imagine the stuff going through in my head after that.

The first thing I did the next morning was to offer my apology and I was very sincere about it. He accepted my handshake and the rest is history, not! I thought at that time it must be the most eventful thing that can happen to our friendship.

Many years on and we did some amazing and stupid things together. It started as an innocent friendship like kids do but one day, on the lunch table, Larry, Victor, Fabian and co were having a go at him expressing how much they dislike him for this and that. I went against them by telling them to stop; the yuxiang I know isn’t like that. Guess the response? “wah... Aloy seh.... stand up for friend seh” << this was Victor. Anyways, it wasn’t too long before I got ostracize and ultimately dumped as team captain. Oh well, I guess I had a feeling that our friendship were going to be something special.

Those times when we played football with Gen X and us natural wingers, were deployed in the central midfield two in a 4-4-2 formation. Not to boast but we were easily the fastest players in the team. We ran and ran and complemented each other in centre midfield – you should have seen the stuff! our 1-2s were top notch even before we understood the concept of 1-2s.

I, still the captain then, enforced a rule that if any of us were not to make it to Sec 4 Express (because of football), you would be expelled from the team and the one person that I really hoped not to suffer this fate was my best friend. He became the most upset person the class have ever seen because he almost punched Keng Kum when he shook his head in dismay at him. That day, we sat at the bench at the park under Sebastian’s block. He said he was going to quit school and help his Dad out. Just then, an old man collecting cardboards cycled past. I asked him, do you want to be like him when you are old?

He came back to school eventually and went on to graduate from Sec 5. He eventually found his place with his class. We drifted away a little but whenever we met, we would chat like there's no tomorrow - we never run out of topics to talk about! I learnt about what an ass Zhong Wei is to him but it probably stems from the group’s general dislike. I know every single girl he’s been after and he knows mine. We indulged in football gambling and got ourselves in trouble. I recall we had to beg from Black to save us. We shared secrets and from then, saw what a friend he truly can be.

We eventually formed our own football team of motley crews and grew attached to the name Kovan United. We played WCCF and threw a huge chunk of our savings on the game. This was poly. Poly was very much screwed up for me because I’d done a minimum pass for every subject thrown on me. Yuxiang have it a year later so I have been telling him to do well - I see a second chance in my pal. He shares stories to me about his classmate who always got distinction for his module. I was assured he puts himself with the better influence and kept encouraging him to go for it. I said “try to catch this classmate.”

I got to the army first and did my thing and eventually became a sergeant. When he enrolled as a recruit, he said he had seen me in camp but did not approach me because he wouldn’t have known what to do if I started to be funny. He eventually became a sergeant too and was assigned to the Military Police; there he was understudy to my platoon mate in BMT. Small World! ...and yes another of those things we share.

I ORD-ed first, went onto Citi and eventually got my way out of there and was offered a position at IBM. When Yuxiang ORD-ed, I introduced him to my recruiter so he could get a job at IBM too and he passed the interview with flying colours.

We went to Tokyo together and did the craziest things there. It was fun because my best friend was there (of course, with Sebastian too but he was sick, so it was pretty much Yuxiang and me for most of it, just kidding!)

This is also the part of our lives where we matured as man. He knew all about Kitty and for the first time in our lives, we failed to meet for more than a month and he understood. I was wooing the girl of my dreams and Kitty became the biggest thing in my life. Kitty and I went through some trying times and while feeling I needed to get a drink, we went to Zouk. Yuxiang and Zouk don’t match so it’s a really big thing for him to make this happen. This was the day I got to know Valerie, Huishan and Michelle. In the middle of the party, I went out and spoke to Kitty. That night, I suffered the worst heartbreak in my life. I tried to get away and so I walked across the bridge. In the process, I kicked someone’s bottle of Vodka into pieces. He was drinking with his friend on the floor but they did not retaliate... I guess I was lucky. I sat that the dock by the river across Zouk and started sobbing uncontrollably. I just cried and cried. I refuse to pick up any calls or answer any SMS. After an hour, Yuxiang found me and he saw for the first time, Aloysius in tears. I could make out that he was deeply saddened by what happened with tears welling up in his too and he put his hand on my shoulder. I don’t know what I would have done that day if he hadn’t found me. For the next few days, I became an emotional wuss. I could not move a limb and it was simply just tears after tears on my bed. My pals were there for me and I got over the whole crying wussy thing and decided to fight for the love that I am now so sure of. He was so happy I got my act together and won the battle and kept saying “Kitty is da sao, Kitty is da sao”

Back to how lovable a guy Yuxiang is. Along the way, everyone held Yuxiang’s eligible bachelor status with such high regards they decided to take his love life into their own hands. Sebastian introduced some insurance girl to Yuxiang, Ling Fong introduced Karin to Yuxiang and finally, the entire group was pushing Huishan to him but he never got down to wooing her. At this point, I had already dropped the notion of Yuxiang as a boyfriend to Shirley but I was hesitant to show Yuxiang who she is because I thought Huishan was right for him. Huishan’s a pretty girl and most of all, she’s very sensible. But one day, ironically, while we were waiting for Huishan to get down from her block, I showed Yuxiang the profile picture of Shirley on my facebook and he was going “intro leh intro leh...” We had countless conversations from him wanting for me to set up a date. Yuxiang added her on Facebook but her or rather the boyfriend deleted Yuxiang from the friend list shortly. So I had to play mediator again and get her to reinstate Yuxiang as a friend. Not long later, Jan 2010, I flew for London on a business trip and so while I was away, Yuxiang secretly messaged her on facebook and asked for a date. I got back just in time for their date, I remember vividly they were standing outside my office and they were all smiles. Shirley was carrying a bouquet of flowers and she was wearing the “it’s my birthday” t-shirt. I was happy for them.
Every now and then, I reminded Shirley what a romantic Yuxiang is for he hasn’t bought flowers for anyone before and that I hadn’t done anything to help the relationship that it was all his doing and the love you have for each other that made these happened.

Of course, like all fairy tales, the step sisters try to mess up your life once in awhile. Shirley still had the boyfriend. Technically, she was two-timing but based on the circumstances, the boyfriend really isn’t much a boyfriend anymore.

They first part is expectedly amazing, passion, love and the first kiss but it digressed into very trying times for Yuxiang. It was the first time I have seen Yuxiang so terribly upset in his life. He stayed up all night and wrote letters to her when she can’t even read it. He told me about what happened and I’ve seen him broken down too many times. She decided not to come to my birthday party and when I probed, she said “yalor, without you, then all these things wouldn’t have happened”. I was so upset I shouted at her. Why was I upset? Apparently, it was never a case of two falling nicely into place because I really did try to bring them together. Two people do not come together because of a facebook photo.

The next day, she came to my birthday party and that was a historic moment in their relationship.
I am not really sure what transpired from there but I heard from yuxiang she finally broke up with the boyfriend. Yuxiang claimed that what I said shook her up.
It obviously did not end there as she got upset over nonsensical stuff again... all of it > selfish reasons because she would never admit she is in the wrong even if the truth glares in her face reads “I am a bitch”, she just wouldn’t.... A kind soul like yuxiang would only be bullied upon on... taken advantage for.... and taken for granted.

As much as I wanted Yuxiang to be far away from this woman, I told her things that made her go back to him. I started doing little things in the background, planting ideas in their head, like encouraging them to apply for a house and reiterate the point that it’s important to apply early. Scouted every single project and made sure Yuxiang made sense of getting a HDB... which he eventually did.

There were two main things that caused his misery:

1. The boyfriend’s persistent tagging.

2. Shirley’s reluctance to accept reality

It was too much pain to witness in a short space of time but along the countless bullshit, I was quite sure Shirley is not the one for him so that night that Clarke Quay, I discouraged him and showered the worst possible image I can think of Shirley to him. That night he told me not to call her and I should pretend that I am not aware of anything.

I called a few days later and made sure things were going right and not surprisingly, vented at her again. I am not sure what did it but her petulance with the way she was handling the relationship was pissing me off.

Yuxiang’s dad got diagnosed with Liver cancer and strangely, their relationship started to get better. Shirley became less of a bitch to yuxiang but even so, this was not it. When Yuxiang was going through all that shit at work as well, she couldn’t have been more self-absorbed at those times. We were at Yuxiang’s place and she would call and have a marathon fight that can last up to 4 hours.

All this time and the group were having a hard time accepting this woman into the group. Even the mild tempered Ling Fong has her name on his contact list as Shirley Emo. Not to mention Valerie, whose feisty personality would probably never take kindly to her. Sad to say, the problem wasn’t Valerie or Huishan, it was Shirley.

I called Yuxiang and told him about my proposal plan and was honestly, disappointed at the fact he wasn’t going to come to Korea to witness this moment of my life. I told him that but he was nevertheless happy for me and I felt it. I eventually went down ctionn my knees on snow and it will be a moment I will never forget. (I must mention that Ling Fong, my oldest buddy was there the whole time.)

I wanted so badly for Yuxiang to be happy, I tried to brainwash her that the group loves her. I tried to convince her that Valerie is a good girl and Huishan has nothing to do with Yuxiang. I retold the story of how I was never involved in their relationship because I wanted her to believe they were meant for each other by their own will and might. I warned her that Huishan was not the only girl “linked” to Yuxiang and a man his calibre would easily attract. I asked her “Which man has a career like Yuxiang’s and is such hard worker. Which man is dedicated to setting up a family with a girl? Not me if it wasn’t for Kitty. I don’t understand what you are after..... But here is a good looking man willing to drop all the options in the world to marry you.” She looked like she was moved by those words; at least, that’s what it seems to me because she was gleefully going about slashing Yuxiang’s credit card after that. (Sorry mate)

Boys will be boys because we got obsessed over FIFA Superstar and this game became another of those things we share. I got obsessed with creating the Brazil team and eventually dedicated my players to completing his Portugal team. I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s no mean feat - you would have no idea what this means unless you have tried to obtain the players yourself. FIFA Superstar was something because it took his mind away from things that were bothering him. The unexpected happened because Yuxiang's facebook account got hacked. I assumed I was one of the first people he called. We then went on a wild goose chase, "Who's the hacker who's the hacker!" I started cancelling out his colleague Benjamin and then, it got exciting. We were on a mission to hack a hacker but first, we need to find him. I took out the suspects from the account, put them on an excel sheet, filtered out the noise and voila! I found the hacker. It was an Indian boy from some Indian University, is a fan of Manchester United and Bill Gates.
Problem was, the excitement ended there, his friend who self proclaimed himself as a genius hacker had no way around this ah neh... so there.

One day, he called me and told me he was going to get married with Shirley and I was pleasantly surprised. I said “OMG! You actually got there ahead of me!” Such was my astonishment; I almost forgot to congratulate him. Haha but I know what he had always thought of me as the one who would marry last.

I noticed he matured because he wouldn’t call any of us to tell us about his problems anymore. He’s accepted these things as a part of his life. I told Shirley to take good care of him and be his listening ear but I guess it wasn’t to be. Shirley’s selfish and narrow minded perspective has thrown them topsy turvy again.

A few nights later, we decided to meet up at teochew porridge and we talked about Yuxiang. Kitty felt that the couple should have been more appreciative to me and Ling Fong jokingly suggested a 10% cut for my match making services. I just played along. Yuxiang duly joined us after and Ling Fong repeated exactly what was said - that I should get a cut for this. It was guilt and specifically, burden all over Yuxiang’s expression. He was frantically gesticulating how he wanted to do more but can’t.... he was just going on and on.... I tried the hardest I could to brush it off but I believe it got stuck in his and her head. This was the last thing I wanted to happen.... and the reason I have been going about telling them they started the relationship themselves and I wasn’t even remotely responsible for anything. I don’t want my best friend to be indebted to me.

One day, Shirley text me telling me about how upset she was. I called her and was shocked to hear the father is losing his consciousness and I got everyone to rush down to the hospital. When we got to the lobby, we caught up with Shirley who was in tears. I tried my best to comfort her. We went up to the ward and after seeing with our own eyes how his father was behaving, you can imagine how solemn it already was. Every single one of us had tears welled up in our eyes but even with those eyes, I mustered enough courage, desperate to prove a point to Yuxiang to be strong and asked “Yuxiang, what happened!?” ....and he broke down.

For too long, I have not heard about the emotions of my best friend. For too long, he hasn’t confided in any of us. He used to tell me about this asshole and that asshole at work and how much Shirley is being a bitch. He would tell Ling Fong, Sebastian and Kitty too. But what’s worse is that he couldn’t confide his thoughts in the clouded perspective of Shirley’s. That day, the break down in the room spelt it all. He has kept it all by himself for far too long.

Shirley tried to confide in me about her sorrow but seriously, I couldn’t care less about what she thinks. Yuxiang is taking all the damage yet she’s only concerned about herself. Every time she compares it with her previous relationship, I tell her to be strong because yuxiang need her to be strong. I just keep reiterating the point that she has to be there for him.

The whole time, Shirley came to me only when she needed help. I was like a deity where she can pray to but definitely not a friend.

The wedding was brought closer and held at his house. It was trying times for me at work but then I realized my best friend’s wedding is going to be short of decorations. A wedding without colours! I can never let that happen. I asked if he needed help to decorate his place and set up a secret meeting with Shirley to get everything in place. I told her the same old story about how she should be excited because yuxiang is really one of his kind and he has never bought anyone else flowers. I told her that Valerie is so enthusiastic about decorating the place... that there’s a good nature to her that can be appreciated... its about her spontaniety.... if you ask her to go Bintan with you or anywhere, she confirm On one.. Unless she got something on... she finally smiled and agreed with me about Valerie... With everything yuxiang’s going through, I wanted to give him a surprise by appearing with the entire group and going “Surprise!”

I came up with the idea of setting up a board outside the house and so for the final 2 days started digging for acceptable resolution photos of Yuxiang but I could find none of Shirley. I was pinned against my back on the wall at work and getting stressed over this. I had lunch with Esther that day... and I was so busy I did not get my chance to have dinner. I eventually joined the rest of the crew at Plaza Singapura and argued that we should get purple balloons because the bride loves the colour. We went to his place albeit separately so the surprise call did not come to fruition but we saw Yuxiang’s genuine smile for the first time in the longest time. I decided since I couldn’t find the pictures, I was going to attempt Caricature. I drew and drew and eventually came up with something Yuxiang is proud of.... (but is brother said it doesn’t look like him, nvm that). It was all blowing up the balloons and setting up the place.... I can remember the annoying kids, girls pretty colour matching dresses, the boy’s white shirt best men look, yuxiang having a hard time putting his shoe back, the moment of tears Shirley shared with his mom, his brother’s blushes when probed on his slipshod attire, his father’s laughter when he saw Sebastian’s funny sleeping poses on the screensaver, the bride appearing from the elevator, the vows and their first kiss as husband and wife (which I took with my camera)..... It all happened so quickly and before I know it, my best friend is a married man. I tried not to cry because I was actually looking good that day. When it was over, I realized I haven’t ate anything since lunch yesterday... that was 24 hours ago... such were the emotions it kept me going for so long.... this was surely not the Aloysius you know... Kitty doesn’t call me the lawn mower for nothing... It was a fireworks display of exhilaration, tears, beauty, wrought years of friendship and love. I gave him a hug and made sure he took good care of the caricature before bidding my goodbyes.

It’s not really the fairy tale ending because his father passed away the week after. When I got news, I rushed to the hospital as soon as I could. I was the first one there. When I got to the floor, I was ushered in by Shirley and from a distance, I could make out Yuxiang looked really distraught and he was on his knees and there was man next to him. I assumed he was the undertaker. When I got closer he held back all his tears and said “ta zou le...” I wanted to give him a hug but this is the new Yuxiang I know, he wants to be strong but he is taking things on his own again and this time, I am not sure how to approach him. I went in to look at his father and allowed flashbacks of Uncle to sink in my memory as I say a soft prayer. I cannot imagine what Yuxiang was going through because they are still the closest father and son I have ever known.
His wake was held the following day and the bunch of us went to “shou ye”. In all honesty, it was to keep Yuxiang company. This is becoming reasons for him to fall into depression and I know even at this point, Shirley is holding him back.

I told her to stay with Yuxiang and vice versa. I told them that being close to each other is the only thing they can look forward to in these trying times. Thankfully, she made the decision to stay with him.

2 July 2011

We were meant to do some kickabout that day on that very field where we became friends. The irony of it all.

Ling Fong called and asked if I would like the NDP tickets. I took it because it would mean another thing for Kitty and me... it means something because we used to trek the stairs at beach road just to catch a glimpse of the fireworks.

The morning, Yuxiang texted me and I remembered our kickabout! I realized how this work and study thing is taking a toll on me and I was becoming very absent minded. I replied apologizing saying that I’ve got tickets to the NDP and that I can join them later on. The Parade finished and we were struggling to cope with the intermittent reception... Valerie was there too and she can pay testament to that... and so the plan was to use up my Popeye’s Voucher and join the guys for a drink or something... Popeye’s was something that with a bit of history, that day after we went to visit Yuxiang’s father at the hospital, I casually said, “let’s go Popeye’s @ Novena, my treat!” and I found out that my deals.com voucher doesn’t count because it’s only available for the flyer... so I went with Kitty to the flyer two days later and found out that the deals.com voucher is not valid until 2 days later.... so all in all, I spent $50 on two meals... I thought hey, since we are here at Popeye’s, let’s finally get rid of the coupon! and we did! So I took the initiative to ask if they are meeting up and they said we are at Pastamania... I thought cool, we could join them if it’s still open and so while we manage to get our way out of the insane crowd.... and so the last thing I saw was “Open till 1am?”, fine we will meet still since it’s Saturday and it’s still early hours... and then came Yuxiang’s “haha no... 10.30, We’re going back, u all enjoy”.... How the hell should I join them now? Oh yes, but I decided to be nice and tell them I just manage to get Promenade and is good to join them anywhere if they wanted to. This is despite the fact that I never promised to eat dinner with them, that the parade did end late, and we were desperately trying to get away from the crowd – needless to say, Popeye’s was jammed pack like sardine cans after the NDP. With all that happening, we were also grasping for any reception we could get hold of.

What's mind boggling was if the meet up is so fucking IMPORTANT, why had no one given us a call!!?

That is why at 3am on a Thursday Morning, I am still fucking awake and writing this because I cannot fathom what Shirley has said to me.

First of all, Shirley has accused me of being an asshole for not turning up for something

Second, Shirley judged me for wanting to repay for the debt that I “brought” them together and was adamant it was the case.

Third, when I told her I am utterly disappointed with her, she said “if good friends can’t withstand tis, I have nothing to say”... I am shocked and appalled at how magnanimous she feels about herself!

Fourth, she kept insisting that we belong to the same kind... oh please.... your maturity is far from it... oh please.... this disgust me!

Fifth, she posted her displeasure at me on her facebook wall without getting any facts right.

Sixth, she said this when I told her I am ending the friendship “U noe deep down now... I’m reali peaceful with the friendship removed” and she probed me further 18 minutes later “Sorry u r??”
She’s really relief that I am not her friend anymore.... the so called friend who only comes to me when she has problems...

Seventh, she has made my best friend’s life really miserable.... and now they will live the rest of their lives together..... Can this be condoning? Does it not make me regret any of this?

My true colours? Because I did not turn up...? and because I was suppose to tell you earlier? How? Does Yuxiang not know I am heading for the NDP Rehearsals.....?

How quick to judge.......... How quick...... after all these years......... after all these fucking years! This man is almost like the brother I never had!
How can I not feel disappointment....? How can I not............?
What does this even feel like? A tribute? you know what a tribute means......
I cannot understand her frustration because for some strange reasons, she was only upset with me. She used the word "hurt", not pissed, not upset but hurt. Why? Is she fighting to conquer some demons within? Does she realized she is a married woman? or is this a case of let's get used to giving Aloysius bullshit since he hasn't offered any resistance............? In the two things that were causing his misery, the latter still exists.... and God knows how long this will continue...

I don't even understand why I am even trying to explain myself because my conscience is fucking clear - I have done no wrong.

“Arsenal are a selling club…” everyone panic.

2011-07-04T17:58:00.001+08:00

News men abhor a vacuum. If a news vacuum temporarily occurs, they will report conjecture, innuendo, false translations, and sometimes even straight out lies to get people reading the newspapers again. Last night, News of the World printed a story which seems to have all four negative elements.

In an “exlusive” interview News of the World claims that Arsene told them that Arsenal’s strategy is to buy low and sell high, that Arsenal have to do this to pay for the stadium debt, that Klaas Jan Huntelaar is an Arsenal target, and that Usmanov can save the day.

First off, buying low and selling high is just smart business strategy. As is using your debt to build your company. I know a lot of people out there wished it wasn’t so, but Arsenal (all football really) is a business. They invested wisely in their stadium, turnover has increased, and in the long term the business outlook for Arsenal is very, very good. Why do you think Usmanov is so eager to get his grubby, fat, fingers in our pie? So, I cannot for the life of me understand why Wenger saying that we buy low and sell high in order to service our debts is a bad thing, unless you’re one of those people who thinks sport should not be a business.

What’s odd here is that strictly speaking, Arsenal aren’t a normal business: they don’t pay dividends, they aren’t really in it to make profits, and there’s a sense of history and love of their supporters that your typical business only wished that they had. So, it’s not like they are buying low and selling high in order to line the pockets of their shareholders. They are doing it to remain competitive in what is a drastically changed business atmosphere. You’d think that would appease the anti-Sport-as-Business people, but no. Some people won’t be happy until Arsenal buy every developed player in the world from the pocket of some rich guy who does it just for the love of the club.

Meanwhile, with Chelsea’s owner treating the club like an American Express card, Liverpool’s owners taking massive debts to buy the team, and Manchester United so insanely indebted that they can’t even pay off the interest on the debts that they owe I have to say that the Arsenal model is the only one that makes any sense. Arsenal are using their debt wisely, they are capitalizing on the insanity of the market (£30m for Adebayor? that’s nuts), and they are still playing competitive football.

So, even if what Wenger said is an accurate quote, who cares? Arsenal have the quality to win both the Premier League and the Champions League; they were just a few horrible calls away from the Champions League semi-final and one horrific tackle away from the Premiership title. So, who cares if they buy undeveloped players and sell them on for huge profits?

Now, will the team sell Adebayor? Yes, if Barcelona offer £30m. Will they use the money to buy Klaas Jan Huntelaar? I rather doubt it. For a week, I’ve been saying that if they sell Ade and Hleb they will bank the money. Arsene keeps making it clear that he wants to develop the young talent of the team and given his track record, he will. Think about the young players they have coming up through the ranks: Vela (£2.5m), Ramsey (£5m), Fran Mérida (£2m), Kieran Gibbs (free), Jay Simpson (free), Vito Mannone (>£1m), Håvard Nordtveit (£2m), Henri Lansbury (free) and Mark Randall (free). With Wenger’s patient hand, he’ll turn those free players into Pounds Sterling. So, as much as I liked Klaas (before he started talking about how much he loves Man U), he doesn’t fit the business model and he doesn’t fit with Wenger’s love of developing young talent and watching them succeed.

And then, of course, as with any time Arsenal’s finances are mentioned, Usmanov’s name is dropped as the potential savior. Arsenal don’t need saving and they don’t need nothing stole out of their coffers neither. Usmanov is not the answer.

Sigh… how long before the season starts up?

Note: this was written by the below writer in 2008, why does the article sound all so familiar in today's terms. http://7amkickoff.wordpress.com/2008/07/06/arsenal-are-a-selling-club-everyone-panic/

chain of events

2011-06-21T22:23:00.002+08:00

I got home late at 9.30pm from work.
My immediate concern was to send my passport details to Ling Fong.
When I tried to get on the internet, it says I've got an invalid PPP logon details, and so to my horror, internet is down.
It left me with little choice but type it out on my iphone using my corporate mail to send to him.
In the midst of it, I checked my Inbox and received a complaint from the US Server team about a contact detail I left out which was definitely by no means a severe mistake by me, yet made to sound close to a disaster. I believe this was a classic case of blown out of proportions because their precious sleep was disrupted during the night to perform their jobs. Another reason for blowing it up was because the asian guy, all alone in his continent with no related colleagues or support is obviously easy target.
So, in a hurry to prove my proactiveness, I embarked on typing a reply using the iPhone while on a fucked up bandwidth called 3G which I actually pay money for.
I then tried to type a decent sentence which went something like "Thanks for the thought" but I couldn't fucking complete this sentence because my friends (who for a moment, I wanted to kill) were talking about nonsense on whatsapp... it was coming in "meng" "mong" "mongness"... I didn't make this up and Ling fong cracked the worst joke at that time saying I havent got the details right... which apparently prompted my response of wanting to retype and resending all of the passport details again...
My mother came out and just exclaimed "you havent eat ah......"
"it's not rice ah, it's mee tai mak..... " and she went on and on....
and she said "why people talk to you no response one"

and I blew up and shouted at her. "I am trying to work!"
and she said "er zhi.." which meant selfish, attitude or something like that....

Eventually after a long chain of bullshit, I managed to send the email.... and called Singtel to resolve the issue.... quite peculiarly, all that press 1 for english, press 2 for internet, press 3 for whatever fuck actually managed to cool me down because getting angry over a recorded voice just makes me look stupid....

and now that I have cooled down.... (not completely though, if not I wouldn't write this jibberish).... I am feeling regret for yelling at my mom. Sorry mom. sigh....

there's no point in this entry, it's just a record or proof that circumstances can force you to fuck things up....

Interview with Ferguson after Champions League Final 2011

2011-05-31T17:26:00.001+08:00

"We are only allowed to coach youngsters for an hour-and-a-half but they (Barcelona) can coach every hour of the day if they want to," explained Ferguson.

"That's the great advantage they've got and they have a fantastic philosophy.

"We hope that in years to come our coaches will be able to spend more time with young kids, to teach them the basics, the technical abilities and the confidence to keep the ball all the time.

"We're good at it but we're not as good as Barcelona at this moment in time. It's a wonderful challenge. We should always accept a challenge."

fat is bad

2011-05-25T14:35:00.003+08:00

why is this the case?
growing fatter? growing out of shape? growing clumsy? growing obese? growing healthy? growing oily? and all these other things that just makes you less desirable and subsequently you drop below the unwanted category....

100 Takuya kimura
90
80
70 Tay ping hui
60
---------------------------
50
40
30
20 Mah Bow Tan
10 fat bastard from Austin powers

Scale 10- MOST UNWANTED/100 - MOST WANTED

"ti ti jiak ti ti jiak ti ti jiak ti ti jiak ti ti jiak ti ti jiak"
my subconscious me bellows these words into my conscience. I feel gutted at my lack of discipline and my inability to see the problem... blaming it on stress blaming it on everything else but me....... and it's not just my gut, I feel bloated at the same time......

if you think this entry is about to sink into depression... then.. you are probably right....
arghh.... i am not even disputing that or trying......... I realized fatness kills self-esteem too.........

When I was skinny like a monkey, I was full of confidence and I was always jumping around trying to get one over the TAF club kids... and all I would thought was "they asked for it..."
I admired the skinny people in school... and so did everyone else......... Skinny people are cool because they have such huge eyes and smile... unlike fat people where blubber attempts to bury their features eventually taking away expression off their faces. You get what I mean? fat people look the same when they are happy or sad...

don't read this if you are getting depressed like I am...

I just had a packet of rice for lunch... such a big bloody packet... vowed not to finish everything but did within the span of 10 minutes...... gulp is the word.....

all that rice is sucking the glucose out of my head........ and digestion process seem to have slowed them drastically since I tried to starve myself for the past 2 days.......... painful whatever's going on now..............
and then, my mood gets altered........ and I started getting irate with stupid things like colleagues lurking behind my desks......

semi-anorexic aspiration begins - 22 May 2011

2011-05-24T14:25:00.010+08:00

25 May 2011
breakfast - golden shoe nasi lemak set A
lunch - Mei Hua cai fan, ladys finger, curry vegs and bean curd egg...... (feeling so damn full although this is little considering my diet on a normal day)
dinner - regular curry chicken pizza and drumlets.................

24 May 2011 (tue)
lunch - mcspicy burger, regular green tea, regular fries
*aww man, it's only the 2nd day and I busted my diet
snack - nougat lookalike bar.. taste like the chinese "gong tang"... (yes... diet plan's hanging by the thread) and I just ate 6 snaps of chocolate offered to me..... I admit I am weak... I am WEAK!
dinner - mom's chicken rice - super killer

23 May 2011 (mon)
lunch - fish soup
dinner - lean pork meat, capsicum, onion egg omelette
snacks - handful of almond nuts

22 May 2011 (sun)
exercise - walk up bukit timah and down
catch of the day, cod fish pan seared

Dream Team 2010/11

2011-05-15T03:21:00.014+08:00

The season have come to a close and this is every football fan's day dream - the world first eleven. Here is my entry and I am going for a 4-2-1-3.

CR7 - RVP - Messi
Samir Nasri
Pepe - Park Ji Sung
Bale - Vidic - Ferdinand - Dani Alves
Van Der Sar

Robin Van Persie has come on only in the 2nd half of the season and yet managed 20 goals. His almost flawless first touch gave him the ability to build up the game in the final third and this makes him my preferred player for the holding striker role.
Honestly thinks he's the best player in the world. Good in the air, strikes with both feet, imbued with super speed and strength, truly is the only of his kind. CR7 has already mastered 36 in the league this season and will finish as top scorer if Messi do not catch
The current World Player of the year has scored a whopping 50 goals this season in all competition and has contributed to the destruction of Real Madrid in the champions league by dribbling past 5 players on his own and scoring the decisive goal.
If Arsenal sells Fabregas, fret not as there is Samir Nasri. Nasri possesses natural flair and has added strength to his arsenal this season. Equally adept at distribution, Nasri has truly been a revelation this season. One flaw is Arsene Wenger's stubborn tactical preference of Nasri as a winger - Nasri's form faded when he was shifted to the left flank.
Did anyone watch the game of Park against Chelsea? All the players from both sides were left wondering where Park got his energy from after the game.
Most had slammed him for his anti-football display and his aggressive challenges against Barcelona but Mourinho's surprise move to transit him into Midfield was nothing short of impressive. Against the likes of Xavi and Iniesta, Pepe have won the ball again and again by breaking up the masters of possesion.
I know Bale is an attacker but I really wouldn't fancy not having Bale in my 1st eleven. His all action display against Maicon still etched vividly in my head. Still 21, one to watch out for in years to come. Bale was named PFA player of the year.
Nemanja Vidic was named captain of Manchester United early this season and he has not looked back since. His partnership with Ferdinand made most strikers believe that games against them are simply lost causes.
Still the most expensive defender in EPL, Ferdinand has played superbly this season. His ability to read the game and anticipation against strikers has put his game at the top this season. There is not many to match up to Vidic and Ferdinand definitely fits the bill.
Dani Alves has been the subject of play acting and but this season, he has weighed in with an impressive number of assists as a defender. He is also part of the Messi-Alves combo that has terrorized the right flanks of teams this season.
I will be remiss not to mentioned Edwin van der Sar. Manchester United will be fighting for a Europa League spot today if we had no VDS. Enough said.

Stefanie

2011-05-09T23:22:00.001+08:00

She looked just like an anime character.

Mesut Ozil vs Barcelona

2011-05-09T16:35:00.000+08:00

I like his style.

Political correct....ing

2011-04-29T16:54:00.050+08:00

In recent days, politics has been rife like bubble tea and luo han fish were on the sunny island of Singapore. Frustration rules the day on some and humour rule the others. You see Mr. Chiam's face on Iron Man... but come the 7th of May, he might just turned out to be the Irony man. Bullshit aside, here is the view of a lost and found Singaporean.

NATURE

As a child, my parents were never pro any party so I wasn't taught much with politics. I mean if my Dad happened to be a taxi driver, it could be a lot different. I remember vividly though, how my parents emphasized not to speak publicly with the term P and P because “somebody” will come and catch me. I was however exposed to the elections via our 21' inch television and was intrigued with one thing - the logos. I was quite an artist as a boy (and won the capcom competition, but that's a story for another time) so I copied and drew all the logos on any paper I can get my hands on. Maybe it’s a boy thing because every boy goes through this lightning-is-cool phase but I got obsessed about thunder and lightning.

No seriously, I was obsessed.

I started drawing lightning rods on my home walls. My kitchen was “lightning-fied”, my living room, my bedroom and eventually my parent’s master bedroom - my entire house was on ~~fire~~thunder! It didn't stop there, I struck everyone who happened to be within a 1 metre radius with imaginary bolts while I dished out a salivated "BISSSSHHHH" in jubilation.

This lasted for months.

The joy when I learn that Lightning team has won as a child is much akin to… overturning a losing streak on a poker desk with your last stack of chips and winning the jackpot at Marina Bay Sands.

The human being instinctively supports the winners but as you grow older, you get exposed to the term Glory hunters and you are embarrassed by it. You grow even older and you understand now why most of your friends in your age group support Manchester United and why your Daddy’s support Liverpool Football Club.
Back to the cavemen times, a typical homosaipens’ best chance of survival was to be part of a herd and in those days, it was always about the numbers – the more the merrier.

Cavemen tribes became villages,
Villages became Towns,
Towns became Castles,
Castles became Empires,
Empires grew into Colonies….
Colonies somewhat became Countries….
Countries have what we call the State.

..and the State is now run by the Government.

We have evolved in many ways and on many levels but the same concept stays. You win, it’s cool, my friend supports you and I support you TOO. I am not posing any propaganda or saying this is a bad thing because of its imperfection. In fact, this "majority wins" mentality was and is still an effective system that has worked for the people in power since hmm…… mankind.

I loved being a child even though it might not be the best childhood but I love what it means to be a child. The world seems so much bigger and brighter. Even now as an adult, I remembered my childhood with colours like on Instagram. I also thought I breathe better air because it was pre-Global warming? I believed in the greatest things, I believed that I could built better machines than the Wright Brothers, I could create chemical spread harmless to every other creature in the world yet eradicate the mosquito species, I was going to be a famous footballer, become a reputable comic artist, be an astronaut and that I was going to be the next president – be all of it when I grow up.

THE MATRIX

As I grew much older, I believed less and less and even started adopting a defeatist mentality. If you could put morale on a chart, mine was showing a gradual downward slope. In my teens, still unsure of what my birthright was, I followed the crowd. The unfortunate thing was, the crowd, my peer was also facing a belief decline. I started worrying about education because high school was ending and we had to get better results to go to Poly. Peer pressure was effective because it was social norm to have teachers tell you things like “if you don’t do well, you will not be in the same school as your best friends you know?” I worried about the next course to take – is it finance? Economics? IT? Engineering? and ultimately took Multimedia because my best friends took it. It was to my horror when I was exposed to the most unmotivated people I have ever known. The nightmare only ever got worst as my non-direction made me an unmotivated drone. I went to the army like everyone else and like everyone else, I never questioned. On the first day, I was screamed at on the first day and that shook me up, I felt camaraderie and was afraid again that I would be separated from the group. “Are they going to SISPEC or OCS? What if I couldn’t make it in leadership school” I thought.

I had no direction of my own. I was really put it simply, just a sheep in the flock. The sheep in the flock was conditioned perfectly to be a sheep battery.

Guo Zherui, then commander of Gryphon company and one of the most brilliant minds I know once told me about the Matrix system and that he wrote a thesis for school and liken it to our nation. That was one of the most impressive thing I have ever heard - to think of a sci-fi action flick as a metaphor for politics.

Well if you haven’t already watched it, here’s a summary.
In Matrix, the Robots (bad guys) need emotional energy from humans for survival (since humans blocked out the sun to deprive them of solar energy) and so the robots captured the humans, put them in a dome shaped shell and plugged tubes into the back of their heads to suck the energy. Images are projected into their mind through the tubes so the humans will continue to perceive much fulfilled lives rich with emotions. The system is so effective that with so much energy in reserve, the robots grew beyond powerful. They create babies from vitro fertilization(I think). They are nourished, stuck with tubes onto their heads, sucked til they grow old and die and the cycle continues.

You probably found this awfully familiar because urm...awhile back, 5% was raised to 7% and then for awhile, the solution was a big influx of foreign talents. Recently, one of the most important points raised at the national day rally was to become more efficient Singaporeans. I really wonder how the typical Singaporean who is usually described as being hardworking and earnest could do much more but that aside, let's explain the above in Matrix terms: More human batteries were needed because Lion City didn’t have enough, so they stuck tubes onto foreigners' heads and finally, when they have run out of ideas, it became a case of installing more efficient tubes that could suck more out of everyone, including the residue.

Of course, I have yet to mention the debt incurred for buying a 99 year leasehold house. This is probably the part where they put you in the Shell - No escape.

In Animatrix, humans who were exceptional and developed extremes were flushed out of the system. One story tells of a sprinter that broke the record during the 100 metre dash, he was running at less than 8 seconds and he was able to see green codes all around him – a bug was discovered. He escaped the norm by creating a record not previously attained in the database or so that was the idea. His tube was released from his head and his body flushed down the sewers.

Fortunately for these people, a group of minority(made up of "exceptional's")exists for the mission to rescue more of their kind with the hope of beating the system someday. When the sprinter opens his eyes, it is now a world of destruction but this world is the truth.

This is probably not the best parable because we don't have an enemy here like the robot. But every now and then, kopitiam talk and taxi drivers tell you stories, flushing you down the system.

PERSPECTIVE FROM THE OUTSIDE

A recent trip to London opened the opportunity for me to understand the people that contributed to our history and the capitalist system. London has the coolest old buildings, a royal family and the best football atmosphere but it felt foreign (duh) and there was a certain darkness about the place. Not that it was covered with a pewter grey sky but figuratively, the people were angry. It was not an ordinary fit and you could sense it was bottled for a long time. I even imagined a vortex monster devouring anyone from within. I traveled alone so I was not able to relate to anyone about the many discoveries. There were no Singlish to be found and I was 10860 kilometres away from home. But through this outlandish manner, I realized how blessed I am as a Singaporean.

Yet, there is something sorely missing in my homeland but found in abundance in the land of Sir Stamford Raffles. It was fight and the people have it inside them - they will take to the streets if needed, they will put up a train strike and they will exercise every last bit of their rights. This people understood what democracy was and will protect it to the end.

When I came back, I scoured the web for information on national affairs. At the same time, political websites became viral and the phenomena struck me. I now understand better my county’s recent history. It made much more sense compared to the school textbooks. Previously, I had no bearing on the concept of belonging because of "history". Our ancestors fought the good fight during post independence and for the first time, my country felt real to me.

I wanted to catch up on what my peers have to say but such topics almost always produce a sorry yawn and they often recite the myth that someone will come and catch me if I say this or that. (When I was little, my mom also said that if I don’t behave myself, the ah neh will come and catch me.)

I wanted to believe again like a wide eyeed child and I wanted for the people I care to believe too but the apathetic nature of my peers who’s only interest with national affairs start with Nicole and ends with Seah continue to detract my new-found perception of identity in this country.

HOUGANG

It was discouraging with all that indifference and this peculiar emptiness always turn to anger for me. I started hating the world because I have lost all hope with it but yesterday, I witnessed a show of human courage and strength. I saw for myself that Singaporeans still know what it means to feel alive.
Yesterday more than 20,000 people gathered at the field opposite block 837 in Hougang.

I was 1 in the 20 odd thousand.
I felt sweat brushed against me, flies having a poke at me, and crude Uncles screaming at the top of their lungs and…. passion.
Vulgarities were spewed and anger was felt but it is only human to feel that way.
It was the indifference over the past decade that was disheartening.

Never was there a phenomenon like this since the Malaysia Cup. Absolutely no one else can bring a crowd together like this. ((Hello Kitty toys came closest since).
I have never felt this way since I watched Man U kicked Arsenal's ass in the FA Cup Semi final in 1999. It was the treble year. Like the Malaysian cup, it was inspiration.

Mr. Low termed it the Hougang spirit and quite rightly so.
I feel more pride as an Hougang Citizen today as compared to being a Singapore Citizen. The Hougang spirit makes me feel like a child again.

Earlier I cited the example of "flushing" individuals from the Matrix system with taxi drivers and kopitiam talk but social media has taken the "flushing" to a whole new level. In a short span of time, Hougang has formed what looked like the minority organization in the Matrix. Surely there must be a reason for the turn out. Was it pure support or anger? If it is anger, why are the people so angry that they want to effect change, that they are willing to abandon the fresh code of paint at their void deck? Is that against complacency or arrogance? Was it a case of no sense of belonging? Or perhaps, just becoming plain sick of the norm?

If there were 30,000 last night, it would make up a quarter of the voting figure. Wouldn’t this number make up a significant part of the result? The same happened with previous years, strong crowd yet it garnered disappointing results for the opposition.

The answer: The Conservatives.

Conservatives make up of almost every household's aunties who believe in everything threatening that was said to them and are afraid of everything from Ah Neh to cockroach. They also consist of the well to do and the rich who have things to protect and is also afraid - afraid they may lose their possessions. There are also those that don't care or want no trouble, they vote for the safest group that would do least harm to them.
This segment of people also back the old adage of Why fixed what’s not broken?
To their defence, Mr. Yeo is a good minister and there are good reasons to vote for him. Many are already feeling sorry for him that he has had to contest against The A team.

Still, the factor of Gen X and Y might make a cause. This is why it has been the most talked about election. This is surely exciting times and we will find out if we will be just a passing statistic or a part of history redefined come the 7th of May 2011. A wise friend once said this not yet famous words “it is so normal, you get bored of it.”. I think the people are starting to understand what my friend said because they know this is a mean to feel alive.

I shall stop here with my rambling because I am going to make my way to the Serangoon stadium.

Note: I am probably not your brightest writer but I am not anonymous and I am a kid who grew up in The heartland. I feel and I write this with sincerity.

"Blessed are the people who dream dreams & are prepared to invest in the cost to make them reality" - Jason Binn

mother's prayer for her child

2011-04-28T18:44:00.000+08:00

http://melodygodfred.com/2011/04/15/a-mothers-prayer-for-its-child-by-tina-fey/

good read by a chio bu

2011-04-27T18:03:00.000+08:00

http://www.kaykay.sg/2011/04/of-life-and-death-love-and-heartbreak/

Renee's Letter to Borders

2011-04-27T18:02:00.000+08:00

Today is my last day with the company. After 23 years I thought I would be sad but am in fact relieved. The Borders most of us loved closed down years ago and it was a slow death by a thousand cuts each time another great GM, DM or RD was forced out.
I am the last GM from Dion country in Florida. We were a tight group and were consistently the highest performing district in the company, developing many processes and procedures that were rolled out to the entire company. Sure we did question the status quo with questions like (7 years ago) "whats our plan to deal with digital music?" and were seriously told not to worry about it, it would never effect us. Some of us were let go for not being better lemmings… some of us stuck around in the hope that it would get better, some of us left with their actual dignity.

As each of our stores closed down this month we kept our staffs motivated with our own limited money. We bought pizza, had parties, bought fresh sharpies to follow your ridiculous procedure. Even though we would all soon be unemployed with no severance and living in a state with the highest unemployment rate and worst benefits. Our staff trusted us and did their best and deserved better than what the company was giving so yeah, we took up the slack that's what proper leaders do.

Every new regional VP insisted the economy was no excuse. We in the store were obviously failures in the company's eyes. In our eyes our leaders were failures. A cacophony of yes men that woudn't take a stand and fight for the things that could have saved us and were too proud to listen to anyone in the field.

You had great success with your plans this year: outsource customer care, pull bargain from the vestibules during the holiday season, not purchase school reading titles, cut hours and increase workload, roll out more functionality in atlas that barely functioned to begin with, discount excessively to buy loyalty, create an environment that managed to an audit at the expense of all else, and under-develop a web presence that demotivated the staff and frustrated the customers.

Yes, you and your team should be proud of all you have accomplished. Only a few more stores to go and you will reach your goal of total annihilation. For that and all you have done to degrade, torment, abuse and demoralize us please by all means keep my 23 years of severance and add it to your bonus. You deserve it. Be sure to keep two gold pieces for your ferry ride to hell.

Renee
Tampa, Florida

2011-04-27T15:53:00.000+08:00

sleepy is an understatement... 3rd day of sleeplessness........... help

the power to decide

2011-04-27T15:37:00.002+08:00

election is rife all over the internet.... the strongholds are in for a real ride this time.

writing with thoughts

2011-04-25T17:58:00.018+08:00

Motivated to write? On a normal day, I am not and I am sure like me, most "bloggers" don't.

Do we have an objective? Perhaps, get a high website hit rate like everyone else? then you probably need constant updates with pictures and stories.
It doesn’t really matter if what you tell is the truth as long as it’s catchy and contains a vibe with the audience.
What works? The most successful blogs are about politics - think brown (which is as close as we can get with violence), sultriness (if there is even such a word) - Xiaxue or on a totally politically unacceptable level of promiscuity... so I am guessing Sex and Violence?

In all seriousness, humour’s the key but then again.. what if you run out of creativity or stories..Hmm, so here I am stirring up random thoughts that I could possibly rant on about later...

Conscientiousness prolong your livelihood.
Car plate reads WTF 6924 in the picture below
The government’s out of touch sentiments angers people.
I want to party and meet new people.
Trying to decipher the mystery piece of food stuck in my wisdom tooth socket with my tongue.
How to be ~~smart~~ dilligent?
~~Desperate~~ Despo behaviour is a turn off and ladies, please stop this for your own good.
Hate how the super duper whooper burger (hint: living thing) saunters about behind my back, I actually feel sexually harassed.
Are you fucking kidding me? I folded with these cards.
The flat(launched today) which is across the road from mine (launched last year) cost an additional $84,000.
Still trying to decipher the mystery piece of food stuck in my wisdom tooth socket with my tongue.

Oh wait, arent these one liners for Tweeting instead? they probably are.....
Let's stick to stories...

working and starving on a friday night in Pulau Tekong...
ghostly encounter with the cupboard hantu....
Drink drank drunking with the Koreans...
clubbing in Seoul with Caroline....
Impromptu field camp - the hunt for the missing rifle...
The psycho dentists who welcomed me into his "laboratory"..
When I was a skinny boy, a prefect, class monitor, team captain, ran 7:55 minutes for 2.4km and pretty much was the jock in school (yes, shamelessly).
Women that changes my perspective with life...and maybe changed my life too... no hell hath a woman's scorn... so gotta be careful with this one
People who inspires along the way..
Likeable people along the way....
vigilante mission - fight the gang, recover the nokia phone.
my comfort zone....
first birthday party at 25 in Sentosa....
running the Marathon.......
2 week stint in London........
Phases at Citi, IBM and LIM...
adventures for the love of my life....
FML moments... like.. on the way to missing a flight...
Leaders and being one...

Below is a video shared by my dear friend, Sebastian... and I believe it pretty much summed up love lost and found with everything else with life... with friends, with passions and with dreams.. that's why if you don't become strangers... if know you've found something or someone worth treasuring..and you should...

oh and another random video

CAIA

2011-04-08T13:07:00.010+08:00

Alternative Investments beat Finance for me anytime and so I am signed up for the CAIA and now, I am hyped up for the CAIA.

I ran 4 kilometres this morning.
Running help clear your thoughts - that's what people have been telling me what works for them. The clear-my-thought aspect of jogging clearly eludes mine.
What really happens when I jog is that my brain starts churning out hundreds of random thoughts while adhering to my jogging rhythm.(ok, if you consider how running random thoughts is clearing your mind, then it probably is). It could be a chemical reaction but then again, it probably is.

On some days, I could generate wild hypothesizes that I bet, would wow the president. The problem is, thoughts rendered during the run is much akin to one during a dream - There is not much left to remember once I am out of the Shower. You see, I even made a mental note to write about it while jogging but it's now buried forever with the other hundred random thoughts. How not to beat myself over it when another brilliant thought process evaporated along with the steam from the shower.

I remember an interesting read from Malcomn Galdwell. In it, he explained how Sesame Street became a TV sensation and brought education to less priviledge children. He further explained how the human mind learn things. Children does when they read the alphabets with Elmo from left to right. That said, your ability to read a book - from left to right works in the same way. The human brain cannot do a print screen and register those in the memory but interestingly, the mind can gather information and relate them with another. This is what you call mind mapping?

My point is a thousand random thoughts at different time intervals do not put a picture together. Without the legendary "big picture", one cannot comprehend sense. That's why I am writing because an essay puts the pieces in the jigsaw... If I am even coming close to making any sense, I've met my objective.

There's probably much more.... I've had this NLP book I bought ages ago and when I am done... there will be more to share...

O Wait, that's not my point. Since I have embarked on taking the course, paid my fees - there's not a lot of shortcuts with this but read the textbook from left to right.
With my limited experience in the finance industry or education, I am likely to struggle. What then now? Sheer willpower to bring me through? What's willpower? This is. A pretty face perhaps? but a fighter for sure.
My point really is it's time for a change - remember what you were before you became a stubborn lazy bum and sleep is a form of death.

AI review

2011-04-07T20:51:00.011+08:00

Hi,

My name is Bazooka and will be maurading as a software critic today (pretty much like how they do it on CNET). What is surprising is that when you plant any combination string of words into the Google search bar, you get nothing - Not in it's almost 30 year history. Well, this makes Bazooka the first ever critic.

This software is still going through its beta stages. Although I have had this confirmed verbally from a colleague that it can now go live to any interested institutional body, I prefer to keep this on the confidential level.

Let's give it a name, let's call it AI.

AI is an ETRM, see here. It is an institutional software, one that caters to mainly the traders, middle office and hmm... yeah, it's just mainly middle office people.

This is how AI works.
After you installed it, a bunch of colourful buttons appear on the top panel of E. M software is a total bore with its colours. ★★★✰✰
These buttons have its own purpose and makes understanding your needs better. If you don't need it, you don't click on it. As oppose to its predecessor software, every option, curve, formula is in view and it can get confusing.
Actually it isn't complex at all but it does put a frown on the users face when they go, "so what are these tabs for?"

Most notably you will be using the Series button to collate history. So after we click on it, we get a friendly interface with let's see... 6 buttons! That's less buttons than a Playstation controller!★★★★✰

Enter symbol, click on go, enter basket settings, click on Send to table and we get our data. The options in the basket settings are pretty much self explanatory so this section gets my vote. ★★★★✰

Fast forward to the Curve button. The curve button works in the same fashion but it draws a forward pricing curve for 1 symbol only over many days and it is very easy to use too. ★★★★✰

The formula allows you to perform simple arithmetic calculations or complex formulas like correlation. One con is that the user will require knowledge of how it is written. Fret not as you can find out how to use the formulas and what's available by clicking on the help button! ★★★★✰

Last but not least is the Query button.
It allows you to perform queries similar to the SQL and perform complicated data draw via this option. The biggest flaw with this is you have to proficient with its unique language. There are of course templates that are readily available for download. ★★★✰✰

Another feature apart from the main 4 functions is that you do not have to open the interface in order to get the data you need. What you can do is simply edit the cells via its e functions and at the end of it, just click on refresh. The philosophy is very much - edit, refresh and there you have it. ★★★★✰

Conclusion

From a middle officer point of view, I would like to have (in priority):

1. simple to use
2. readily available data
3. some formulas and analytical tools to help me do more analysis

That's the draw of AI.

1. Easy installation, Server setup hassle removed and here's what's most explosive about it - directly incorporated with a green office tool that you use everyday. There's also only a few buttons - 6 fundamental buttons to be exact which makes this easy to understand.
2. AI derives from a certain Inc which collates the biggest alternative investment database EVER. Loading of data has also improved drastically with a maximum loading speed of 2.8 seconds. (it's prototype takes 58 seconds)
3. Formulas embedded within the system with a simple click on the Help Guide.
4. most importantly, it is super fast. The technology of Cloud along with a new programming language for the GUI reduces a significant of latency if any.

At this moment in time, there are probably a few bugs waiting to be discovered...
...still, to be continued.

LIM Addin was designed with the functions of MIMIC on Excel only - a LITE version. MIMIC had too much jammed in there which takes a longer learning curve.

MIMIC was written with java.
LIM Addin written with Microsoft C sharp .net is native to windows environment. Integrates nicely with Excel. Became faster.
Research Wide area networks and relied on web services (back end infrastructure for LIM Addin) to resolve the issue.

History symbols section - most clients pull symbols over and over again.

Query function - if you are familiar with any programming language. the most basic structure typicall would be print, if, else, else... for the LIM Addin's query function which is a derivative from the XMIM would be show this data when this happens.

ask what the client's role is, how he think would be relevant with such a program and promise to make the presentation meaningful for them.

Tuesday 29th

2011-03-29T18:48:00.009+08:00

Happy.

I am learning and has become more involved in the business side of things.
Meeting your big clients to discuss about your service orientation, providing vital training sessions to decision makers, setting up trials for them, attending conferences - exchanging your namecards and learning to game people in the industry. How to make your product attractive like it is a hot babe? or rather make yourself attractive. This is fun and I am able to identify this part of my life as amazing.

The human nature is interesting, it is fascinated by confidence because confidence portrays a facade, a portal to things unimaginable and undiscovered. This anticipation is exciting - it draws curiosity and most importantly, it creates attraction.
How an army recruit believes everything a seargent says but eventually found out that all those things you learn from your seargent about command school - that's bullshit. It's pretty much the same when you speak to the clients, you have to speak like one even if you are not one, look like one even if you are not. You have to convince your clients again and again ...until it sinks into you and you convince yourself you are the one. Make them love you and make yourself love you. It's a perpetual ball game and you are having fun because you are always winning.

I just came off a meeting with a big oil company and I tried to sound as confident as I possibly could. It worked because a few of them were unable to comprehend the level of confidence they had when compared to mine. I know because their delivery declined gradually in volume. At one point, it even felt like they wanted to get out of the meeting. What was more impressive was a case of being outnumbered. It was 6 of them and 1 of me.
1. I learnt that clarifying about something at the start of the meeting puts your presence in the picture. Show that you are not afraid to ask, show that anyone should not be afraid to ask, be the one to break the ice.
2. Summarizing with "make-sense-to-me-summary-of-the-meeting-points" put you in the picture too.
Smile, be nonchalant, pretend to be in the mix with the powers that be, be intelligent, be funny and do nothing else but charm.

MIMIC

2011-02-22T14:51:00.004+08:00

The simplest possible training on MIMIC.

demo without explanation.
introduce the menu buttons.
point out that there are only 3 main pages - config, table, chart.
explain table, ascending order, transpose effect, table stats, arranging columns. (functions also available in excel)
explain chart - chart controls. (trendline is useful for technical analysis)

explain config last
time series tab -date range, execution units, fill nan options. (fundamentals)
formula tab - question mark function (very useful if the client is determined to explore the options but usually not)
curve tab - demonstrate a curve with a symbol (some traders find porjecting values into the future useful)

how to save a file and open it. (the entire trading desk with a set of symbols that they identify with, they usually use the same file)

outwork the ones ahead of you.

2011-02-21T15:06:00.002+08:00

stoned out for the past 2 hours, I would have culminated in a more productive product training for myself - no pun intended. Getting through hours of gruesome staring-at-your-LCD-screen sessions can never beat a much needed replenishment of good ol' sleep and then the rude awakening, you do realize you are behind in a few departments especially on the side of academic recognition. The only way you can beat 'em is to....

work hard-der.
write more papers, write more research papers than anyone. just keep bloody writing.

btw, nice video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeEGgSs8Irw&feature=player_embedded#at=29

Lunch with BP Choon Kiat

2011-02-17T15:13:00.006+08:00

Everytime you go out and meet a new face for lunch, you learn a fair deal of life lessons. BP's Choon Kiat is another. Somehow, these stories embed itself in a nice place in my mind. As we sat, I spoke about my experience with people he can relate to, his former colleague Guan Leng now at BO and Charles Cheah. Charles has an amazing story, an engineer by nature, who became a lecturer, a programmer and now a quan analyst. Mutual people gave us a topic to embark on.
He spoke fondly of John Foo's expertise in the Excel Macro program and even today, the trading office still utilizes the macros he created. (John Foo was part of the 2010 exodus). The context evolved into impressive people with "amphibian" qualities of both business and programming abilities. I have always been impressed with these species partly because of my innate inability to master either. Without sounding too narcisstic, I think I am a tadpole now and still learning to find my feet on land.

Inspiring stories yes, and that got us into an interesting banter. Ideas were exchanged and I learnt from an IT person's goggles, the world of servers, traders and the energy sector. I remember how Pearlene Tham from Citi was from Coca Cola while we navigate through the lobbies of Pan Pacific and I remember how she refer to Sherilynn from Mercuria as an industry person and "someone much more senior than her" (with relation to the industry).

Lunch times with people you are fond of are always something special and lunch with people you dislike can be a horrible chore (as Meng Hua puts it). My first office lunch was with Serene(my fat obnoxious boss then), it was a dreadful experience. Describing it as a torture was an understatement - it was boring, uneventful, forgettable and it almost felt like I was under her scrutiny glare.
When I finally had my first proper lunch with the colleagues at Citibank, I learnt invaluable lessons. I had to admit, there was plenty of catching up but that's how you learn and progress. In fact, I would go to the extend of saying you learn more during a lunch banter then you would in conversations at the office. With that said though, lunch hour's over and it's time for my emails. :S

A few hours later after lunch, I got in touch with Brightoil's decision makers to sign LIM up. Guan Leng's primary concern a few months back was his painful memory of MIMIC's speed when he was a user at BP yet with this said, Guan Leng enforced his staff to be heavy users of LIM while he held the helm there. I learnt from Charles that BP is still suffering the same frustrations that was shared with Guan Leng.
Charles mentioend that the Server Team is trying something new, a little like the technology that LIM is working towards. Today I learnt from Choon Kiat that the problem is properly mitigated by installing the cisco wan accelerator. Loading which took 10 seconds now take only 5 seconds! (Sorry for sounding like a tv product advert). The bad news about the whole lot though is that as LIM Addin propels itself as a fast loader, Brightoil is not prepared to wait. They are embarking on a direction of building their own proprietary data so there....
The once taken to me amicably people is now cold as I appear to be nothing more than an annoying Sales pitched up pest... The feeling of rejection, yes, I am feeling that.... and the worst part, I am not a salesperson.

I was going to conclude about the lessons learnt.... but urm...
check out my new signature sign off

to be continued...

How FIFA Superstar became a global social experiment

2011-02-17T10:37:00.012+08:00

Like how Super Freakonomics explained to a varying degree what the Dictator or Ultimatum game is about, The FIFA Trading platform is a eye opener to the devious nature of the average trader.

Studying this is going to take a little more than elbow grease. The game started off with normal rating players that you can only obtained from buying a gold pack - a gold pack is a pack of 5 players that cost 65000 gold coins. Gold coins can be obtained by playing matches. It was a simple game dedicated to the principles of facebook's success. Two months into the game and a trading system is introduced. 6 Playfish Cash is required for each trade much to the dismay of fans. Playfish cash can only be purchased with real money. The game has now gotten a little more complicated with real money involved - real money that people worked for. By any means, it was acceptable to me. I believe it serves as a regulating constant - a reason for Players to take transactions seriously. 6 PFC serves as tax to trade, money for port facilities and safety in the earlier civilizations. Stamford Raffles' Singapore River offer this instance.

The game eventually took on a higher level when they came up with a weekly Superstar of the week - Limited Edition players whose rating will not change. In the 4th week of this, the player's rating changed and the dynamics of the market changed with it - Just like the stock market when Lehman went down.

With time, player cards start to be identified with values. The rarity was easily identified now that everyone can see everyone else cards. The Game's society was left on its own to maintain a just system. Trading has a serious flaw in this game - it only allows a 1 card to 1 card trade which creates a discrepancy when trading multiple cards. The question posed here is will you cheat when you can under zero scrutiny?

The point of this article is about Altruism. Every now and then, you hear cries for help or grievances. I have learnt a whole hell hot about human nature, watching petty crimes culminate into a state of pandemonium. Hardly anyone trades multiple players anymore because of the situation the game is in - liken it to a lawless country.
That side of me, proud that I was never cheated prolonged my involvement in the game. Another side of me, the curious one wanted to find out if genetic disposition was responsible for this undesirable behaviour.

In Today's market, there is no mitigation of risk The limitation of a 1 to 1 trade earlier has unfortunately also limited it's options. There is only a caveat sign to a yes or no switch. You either trade or not, get cheated or not. To the scammer, this is an ideal system. The huge experiments with hundreds and thousands of participants endured for a few months with results often pointing to the negative ends. Honest stories are few and far between, retold far too many times. The apparent verdict seems to be a new scammer everyday and a new whistleblower every other.

to be continued...

Privatizing

2011-02-15T16:22:00.002+08:00

Expressing yourself literally online these days can get you into troubled waters... so there.... I am privatizing this space again

getting started

2011-02-15T11:04:00.003+08:00

It is always interesting to sit in this office.
you learn a lot of things from the conversations.

you learn exactly what a bad boss is

- you need to know your objective
- then you need to find your resources
- then you must identify the gap between the two
- then come up with a strategy to achieve that within a Timespan
- yes sir no sir is not the way
- direction (as with objective) needs to be reassured to your staff
- never shortchanged yourself
- understand that ties are the strongest things holding your staff together
- read read and read

For the past year, life has taken on a roller coaster on its own. I took on a new outlook with life. I took on braces, to take on a new outlook on my face. I brought a 1 carat diamond ring for Kitty. I flew to London on my own and called 911 for the first time. I took up a finance job in the Central Business District because I realize there is an insurmountable load of knowledge to hit on. I met fascinating people in the office. I stayed with Ling Fong (my decade and a half old buddy from Lorong Ah soo) in Seoul? Furthest we have been?
It got so much I wasn't able to comprehend anything in my head. Every event has a story to marvel on its own. They are probably the most beautiful memories and I figured that I should probably document them somewhere.

At the same time, I realized I lost my objective. Signing the lease 2 days ago reminded what I was headed towards before the roller coaster. I needed an objective - to imbue that insurmountable knowledge in the financial world, to recover my drastic deteriotion of writing skills... and to save a substantial amount of dough in 6 months. Come on Aloy! you just need discipline.

Here is what you need to do:
1. save
2. run and workout every morning
3. write a post a day
4. read a book before you sleep
5. sleep before 10.30

discipline! discipline!!
apologies for the lack of structure in this post but this is how one get started

2011-01-26T20:56:00.006+08:00

this is the part where you ask yourself again.... what are you doing to your life? Have you stalled again? What do you want with your life? Why have you stopped or stalled? is someone the deriding factor? Have you asked yourself this one too many times?

the human brain doesnt work exactly in the computer context. It has a hard disk and it stores information but it also has an automatic recycling bin which helps delete data every now and then - it takes away colours and details from your memories. In fact, I think it has an automatic defragging system too that helps collate unwanted old data into the recycle bin. In a way, you can say it is more advanced than the modern computer. The only flaw about it is that memory do not work like a switch and we have no control over it.
As you may have guessed, the only way to refresh or restore this data is via practice. A study was done on Beckham and Michael Jordan many years ago and it was found that it you practice something 999 times a day, you would master something called perfection - a flawless combination of the conscious (voluntary muscle control) and subconscious (involuntary body control - some call it muscle memory).

Back to me and narcissistic me (forgive me please) because this is my blog.
I have failed to practice and I am losing my memory, my pain and my purpose. All I feel now is emptiness and a loss of direction. Feeling lost makes me sad and self-pity digress into anger. Realizing human nature breathes draconian makes me angry.

I was taught discipline through the most gruesome football training. I was taught values - drilled hard by a dedicated coach and captain but these days, I hardly adopt them. Now, I am only concerned about material obsessions once oblivious to the dreamy boy. He wanted to be a hero, fight injustice, motivate his people but all he can manage as an adult - futile gentlemen acts. People weave a sigh of despair when they walk past you anyway and they shake their heads in disappointments - yes, even the ones you trust they won't. What's more agonizing is to know that you've tried (to many, a gargantuan effort and a changed man) but it's never enough - not to the bewildered eyes who promised and promised.

ask again, what stands before the road... grey skies and hapless souls..?

randomness entry

2011-01-24T11:41:00.003+08:00

I received a kindly whatsapp message this morning and Esther asked if I wanted to have lunch with her. I replied Yes! without further ado. Much adrenalin from anticipation and excitement filled my brain for her to reply 10 minutes later telling me that she got a last minute thing going on with her colleague and having lunch with me have to wait. O well, guess there wasn't a good reason for her to go to lunch with me. Being ~~buddies~~ friends for more than a decade obviously wasn't a good enough reason.

yesterday when I was taking the train back home from our lovely date at Nex, an auntie stood in between the opposite sides of the train, dazed and looking lost. She appeared like trouble and I told Kitty to stay away from her. 20 metres later, she stood there facing our direction, not moving an inch. It looked like a scene straight out of a horror flick. Then I remember the story about my neighbour. When I was 7 or 8, someone rang my doorbell. I had to climb up a stool to get to the door viewer. Standing there was an old woman who looked hysterical with her hollow eyes and fizzed up hair. I ran to the master bedroom and told my mom there was a 神经病 at the door and I hid in the toilet. (Kitty remarked it is lame to hide in the toilet, like a certain friend who hides from a slow moving dog). I found out later that poor neighbour whom I havent seen for awhile (who looked like a 慈祥 old lady on a normal day and who dotes on me regularly with pats and treats) has been admitted to the hospital for the last couple of months. She had been discharged and had come home herself. Her children did not pick her up and her husband was not at home.
The lady standing at the station may not be what I think she is... she might be senile and might need help.

Love and other drugs is a good movie! a very good pictorial of two people who knows for sure that they have found the one. you may beg to differ but I was touched by it.

No pizzas with Kitty's Dad on Sunday evening but looking forward to the wedding lunch next week.

Top of the fantasy league table and ranked 69 out of 2.5 million players for January. Pretty Amazing feat I say.

good read from Coach Jon

2011-01-21T15:19:00.001+08:00

Why slow, long workouts may be counter-productive
By Coach Jon – January 19th, 2011
Email Facebook Twitter Print
sprints

Short, sharp bursts of activity have proven to be more effective than long, drawn-out exercise. (File photo)

In my previous post, we talked about nutrition and the role it plays in helping you get the most from your exercise program.

But what if the exercise you are doing is part of the problem? That is what we’ll be looking at in this post.

First of all, I would like to say that probably any exercise done for 30 minutes a day is better than nothing. But most of you have time consuming responsibilities like family, social or work/study commitments. This means that we need to be brutally efficient with our exercise programs. Maximum benefit, minimum time.

The only way to maximize your exercise benefits is to do the exercise that works for you even after you have left the gym. It would be like investing your money in a high rental yield property — it just keeps paying you back.

Unfortunately, the exercise that most people choose is long slow cardio exercise such as jogging, swimming or hours on the treadmill, bike, or elliptical trainer.

This kind of exercise burns mostly fat during the exercise. Which seems like a good idea, but actually INCREASES the chances of your body storing fat in the long run. In general, the body considers long, slow activity the same as “being lost in the jungle” which means it is best to store AS MUCH fat as possible to stay alive!

This is great if we are indeed lacking food, and indeed lost in the jungle. But in Singapore, we have an abundance of food, are not lost in the jungle and unfortunately, many of use already have more than enough body-fat!

Lots of bad stuff happens inside you when you do excess amounts of long distance cardio. After all, look at the people at a marathon. Many of them are fat and have average or unimpressive physiques despite hours and hours of cardio exercise.

Here are three main reasons why:

1) Cardio increases the amount of stress hormones you produce, and when your body is in “lost in the jungle stress mode” you store more fat, hurt your immune system, and damage just about everything from digestive system, to reproductive system. In the long run, this leads to symptoms of “adrenal fatigue” which means that your stress glands are worn out from making all those stress hormones. These symptoms include things like… tiredness, allergies, reduced short term memory, sleep difficulties, and difficulty losing weight despite hard work!

2) Cardio decreases the amount of muscle building hormones you have and in fact tells your body to burn off that lovely firm muscle because muscles use calories and less energy using muscle is what you want if in order to stay alive a long time in the jungle.

3) Cardio does use fat while it is being done, that is why many people who hear this, choose to do cardio. However they fail to realize that your body actually burns lots of amino acids when doing cardio and it gets those amino acids from… your lovely firm muscles! So you are “cannibalizing” yourself to fuel long jogs.

“Whoa, all this sounds bad Coach, what should I do?”

Well, if you LOVE running and it is how you wind down, relax or even catch up with friends, then go ahead and do some. 15 mins, 3 times a week is probably not bad for you.

But if your time is limited, and you want results fast, here’s what I recommend: 45 mins of properly designed resistance training done three to four times a week is the easiest way to burn fat. A qualified personal trainer should be able to help you with this.

Ideally, it should be customized for your level of flexibility, hormone profile, and current/past injuries. It saves time, it’s challenging, and it works.

If you do proper, fat burning resistance training four times per week, and eat a “caveman” style nutrition plan, most people should get optimum results. In fact a 2010 study at McMaster University in Canada showed that 10 x 1min cycling sprints worked as well for fitness and fat burning as 10 hours of conventional, moderate speed cycling! This kind of training has many more benefits, and none of the disadvantages of cardio listed above.

And you save time, which is what almost everybody in Singapore wants.

While there are many more advanced methods of interval training that I use with competitive athletes at our fitness center, here is one that should work for most people (assuming you have no orthopedic/joint issues, and no cardiovascular/heart conditions).

Because everybody is at different fitness levels, we shall use “perceived exertion” (PE) as the gauge of how hard to push yourself. It is a scale from 1 to 10.

* PE 1 - walking along the beach with your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse
* PE 3 – very brisk walk/slow jog
* PE 8 – fast striding run
* PE 10 - being chased by a pack of hungry wild dogs

Get the idea? Now try this… (can be done by running, swimming, climbing stairs, biking etc in fact a variety is good to prevent overuse injuries), use a wristwatch to time yourself. The 1 minute at PE 8 never felt so long, and the 1 min rests at PE 3 never felt so short!

* 3 mins at PE 3 to warm up
* 1 min at PE 6 to get going
* 1 min at PE 3
* 1 min at PE 7-8
* 1 min at PE 3
* 1 min at PE 8
* 3 min at PE 3 to cool down

That’s enough for a first time. If you really did get to PE 8 (fast striding run) you should feel pretty worn out already… and you took a grand total of about 11 minutes of activity.

You can increase the number of sets of 1 minute at PE 8, followed by a minute at PE 3 as the weeks go by. I would build up to 8 sets of PE 8.

Once you get fitter, you will know you are pushing yourself when halfway through the workout, you feel like you may not make it all the way to the end!

That is what I call exercise. Both a proper resistance training program and an interval training program can elevate your metabolism for many hours even after the exercise is over, burning way more calories in the long run. This is the smart investment I was talking about at the start of the article. It literally is burning fat while you sleep!

But take note — build up to this over the course of several weeks.

There you have it. Cut out long, slow cardio. Do some intervals, do some resistance training and eat “caveman style”. Have fun in your workouts!

NOTES:

* A more technical explanation of whats going on inside that uses so many calories during recovery from intervals or resistance training on my website here
* The best book I have found about adrenal fatigue is by an adrenal specialist doctor. Dr James Wilson. The book is called “Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Stress Syndrome” It is easy to read, and has good steps to improve your health. I use many of his recommendations with my clients.

nice article quoted from the New York Times

2011-01-10T11:43:00.001+08:00

JAY GOLTZ, On Thursday 6 January 2011, 3:05 SGT

One of the least understood aspects of entrepreneurship is why small businesses fail, and there's a simple reason for the confusion: Most of the evidence comes from the entrepreneurs themselves.

I have had a close-up view of numerous business failures -- including a few start-ups of my own. And from my observation, the reasons for failure cited by the owners are frequently off-point, which kind of makes sense when you think about it. If the owners really knew what they were doing wrong, they might have been able to fix the problem. Often, it's simply a matter of denial or of not knowing what you don't know.

In many cases, the customers -- or, I should say, ex-customers -- have a better understanding than the owners of what wasn't working. The usual suspects that the owners tend to blame are the bank, the government, or the idiot partner. Rarely does the owner's finger point at the owner. Of course, there are cases where something out of the owner's control has gone terribly wrong, but I have found those instances to be in the minority. What follows -- based on my own experiences and observations -- are my top 10 reasons small businesses fail. The list is not pretty, it is not simple, and it does not contain any of those usual suspects (although they might come in at Nos. 11, 12 and 13).

1. The math just doesn't work. There is not enough demand for the product or service at a price that will produce a profit for the company. This, for example, would include a start-up trying to compete against Best Buy and its economies of scale.

2. Owners who cannot get out of their own way. They may be stubborn, risk adverse, conflict adverse -- meaning they need to be liked by everyone (even employees and vendors who can't do their jobs). They may be perfectionist, greedy, self-righteous, paranoid, indignant, or insecure. You get the idea. Sometimes, you can even tell these owners the problem, and they will recognize that you are right -- but continue to make the same mistakes over and over.

3. Out-of-control growth. This one might be the saddest of all reasons for failure -- a successful business that is ruined by over-expansion. This would include moving into markets that are not as profitable, experiencing growing pains that damage the business, or borrowing too much money in an attempt to keep growth at a particular rate. Sometimes less is more.

4. Poor accounting. You cannot be in control of a business if you don't know what is going on. With bad numbers, or no numbers, a company is flying blind, and it happens all of the time. Why? For one thing, it is a common -- and disastrous -- misconception that an outside accounting firm hired primarily to do the taxes will keep watch over the business. In reality, that is the job of the chief financial officer, one of the many hats an entrepreneur has to wear until a real one is hired.

5. Lack of a cash cushion. If we have learned anything from this recession (I know it's "over" but my customers don't seem to have gotten the memo), it's that business is cyclical and that bad things can and will happen over time -- the loss of an important customer or critical employee, the arrival of a new competitor, the filing of a lawsuit. These things can all stress the finances of a company. If that company is already out of cash (and borrowing potential), it may not be able to recover.

6. Operational mediocrity. I have never met a business owner who described his or her operation as mediocre. But we can't all be above average. Repeat and referral business is critical for most businesses, as is some degree of marketing (depending on the business).

7. Operational inefficiencies. Paying too much for rent, labor, and materials. Now more than ever, the lean companies are at an advantage. Not having the tenacity or stomach to negotiate terms that are reflective of today's economy may leave a company uncompetitive.

8. Dysfunctional management. Lack of focus, vision, planning, standards and everything else that goes into good management. Throw fighting partners or unhappy relatives into the mix, and you have a disaster.

9. The lack of a succession plan. We're talking nepotism, power struggles, significant players being replaced by people who are in over their heads -- all reasons many family businesses do not make it to the next generation.

10. A declining market. Book stores, music stores, printing businesses and many others are dealing with changes in technology, consumer demand, and competition from huge companies with more buying power and advertising dollars.

In life, you may have forgiving friends and relatives, but entrepreneurship is rarely forgiving. Eventually, everything shows up in the soup. If people don't like the soup, employees stop working for you, and customers stop doing business with you. And that is why businesses fail.

Jay Goltz owns five small businesses in Chicago.

22 Dec 2010

2010-12-22T16:03:00.002+08:00

It's 3 days to Xmas.
What have I achieved in 2010?
Honestly, this year has been a huge stepping stone. It has been a titanic year.
I am in a new job, moved into the finance industry, was shipped across the other side of the world for training, ordered a huge bottle of whiskey in a club, experienced snowfall twice, proposed to my girlfriend, beat a korean to a drink, clubbing in Korea, understood commodities, understand the finance language, took the gyro ride, did norebang, learnt Korean, developed social skills with meeting clients, made many new friends, got my best friend hitched... etc etc etc

There's been so much I can't really recall the firsts that happened...but I have really come a long way. Aloysius 2010 has upgraded many versions since Aloysius 2009 but strangely, I feel i haven't done enough. Maybe it's the influence of the people around me.

Joshua has gotten a promotion in the meantime to a senior role since only a couple of months since his army days. Meng Hua remains as motivated as ever to improve herself. She is always trying to do her best, be it speaking in Mandarin or improving her already top class mannerisms. Alvin is ever so knowlegeable. It is inspiring marching next to them.

a badly cheorographed movie but with a pretty storyline

2010-12-18T17:15:00.000+08:00

"Mints" short drama film from Robert J. P. Oberg on Vimeo.

I learnt a new word today

2010-12-09T18:43:00.001+08:00

granularity

my fiance ^_^

2010-12-07T18:50:00.002+08:00

an angmoh in sunny Spore

2010-11-19T16:48:00.002+08:00

If you want to know more about Singapore from a foreigner's perspective, read this very well written article:

http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2010/11/11/the-sound-of-singlish/

the exclusive club

2010-11-15T19:32:00.005+08:00

Most people write best when they write about themselves, the times about how emo they have been and by scaring you with how much more emo they can get.
This is what makes the journalist's job admirable - they have to write about what they don't like. Having a blog with a steady flow of decent hits takes plenty of upkeep. Mine's for thoughts yet this domain remain too public for the guilty ones so perhaps, I should write like a Journalist but on what?
So I don't really have a topic now. See how this is evolving into my teenage diary. It's time like this that I just want to beat up some oily face ah beng into a pulp. Mind you, it's not angst, it's boredom. Wait, I am not suppose to write anything emo.

Okay, let's write about the biggest rule on human nature (most call it economics).
Just yesterday, Kitty and I headed to Serangoon Station to get a train to town. Along the way, I told her that this shopping mall (under construction) will be due this Month. After many hoorays and finally, Kitty asked "Why is this mall so short? They could build much more!"

This is where human nature comes in. I am not sure which comes in first, nature or nurture or just the devastating effect that comes from the product of the two. Human beings want what they can't have.

I then took the opportunity to elaborate on the empty stadium analogy. A few years backs, Arsenal have approximately 90,000 fans in the country who would pay to watch the games in Highbury stadium. It was deemed too small with a capacity of slightly less than 40,000 and so they build the Emirates at 60,000 but there's still 30,000 people left out of the picture, you ask? A ticket to watch a game live at the stadium retains it's priced value - exclusivity.

Let's take into account this other scenario, if you have a stadium, say Hougang Stadium (home to Sengkang Punggol FC) that have a capacity of 2000, but only 500 people turn up every week... that's a lot of space....too much space and there's a good chance you can hear the crikets... (anyways, Seng Punggol FC, true story)
These 500 people are going to be too embarrassed to turn up next week...

It's the same story with an exclusive club, same story with a hot stock on the exchange and the same story with your next date..... and that's why I dare say, no one cares if they are really worth anything, they care that they get them before someone else does, when they know there is a someone else.

tribalfootball is sleeping

2010-11-10T11:02:00.000+08:00

embarking on a new journey.

2010-11-07T16:28:00.003+08:00

For the 1st time, I am using the ideas book that Kitty bought for me more than 17 months ago...
I read something about feeling inspired today... How can you not just recalling the past... your memories makes you smile, they make you cry.. and they make you who you are...

10 tips to a good property investment

2010-11-01T12:36:00.001+08:00

1. Location
It’s important to reiterate how important this is. The location will determine a property’s price, risk and returns. An average property, for example a three bedroom HDB, in Holland Village, can expect to fetch more on the resale market than a two-floor mansionette that’s twice the size in Jurong West.

2. Developer’s philosophy and standards
Does the developer have a track record of producing quality products? If it’s a new project, do your homework and tour previous developments built by them. Don’t be overawed by a big name. A travel writer acquaintance of mine stayed in a new five-star villa resort in Bali recently, and reported that, while beautiful, the unit’s fittings were substandard with tiles falling off the bath and sockets loose in the wall.

3. Management
What level of oversight will be provided by the management of the development? If you’re staying in the property as an owner-occupier, this is less critical, but as a landlord, especially in absentia, it’s vital.

4. Future prospects
For property as an investment, the bottom line is how much income it can generate for you. Again, research the market, getting different opinions on what the capital appreciation and rental returns will be for this property.

5. Practicality / Design / Layout / Usability / Desirability
Who is this property going to appeal to? I looked at the Urban Lofts project, located on Rangoon Road next to Farrer Park MRT. While its location is fantastic and the lower floor flats had their own hot tubs, the extremely limited floor space would make it unsuitable for any but childless couples and singles. Always consider who would live here before you purchase?

6. Comparative prices for comparable product
If you can, try and see how similar properties in the area have done in the past in terms of price per square foot and capital appreciation in order to compare and work out whether the property is an attractive investment opportunity.

7. Connectivity / Convenience
We have written before on the importance of a condominium’s proximity to schools, work places, and shopping and leisure facilities – but transport links are often the biggest drivers of value. Research has shown that condos near MRT stations often gain the most capital appreciation in Singapore.

An MRT train pulls into the station. (Photograph: Singapore Tourism Board)

8. Security
Less of an issue in Singapore, where crime rates are amongst the lowest in the world, in Malaysia and Indonesia – while crime levels are perhaps overstated by the media – the range of a development’s security options – gated communities, 24-hour guards, first-response alarms, etc – are an important factor.

9. Facilities
A property’s facilities do add value to a unit – a landed property with a pool, for example, can add around 8% to the value of the property – while many condo facilities now include gyms, spa facilities and games rooms.

10. Rentability
A rented property can produce a greater passive income than simply investing it in a bank but you need to ensure that is attractive to renters.

problem solving

2010-11-01T12:35:00.001+08:00

1. What are the obstacles? Take inventory of the obstacles getting in your way. Get them out of your head and onto paper so you can start sorting through them. It sounds like a no-brainer, but I'm always amazed at how often people leave their problems in the abstract, flying around inside their brains.

2. What one change could I make that would make the biggest impact? Sometimes one big change can make seemingly impenetrable obstacles suddenly feel more permeable. It can shift things enough that the other contributing factors lose their potency or become irrelevant. Or it can take you far enough down the path toward a solution that you can get a new perspective.

3. Which obstacles can be easily removed? If there are obstacles you're facing that are easily removed, start there to get some momentum. You might be surprised at how much difference it makes.

4. What needs to happen for this problem to disappear? Look at the mechanics of the problem. Take a look at the factors contributing to the problem, and then explore which ones need to be changed, improved, or eliminated.

5. Where are the sticking points? Think of getting from where you are to where you want to go as a process flow. First this happens, then that, and then that. Map out a step-by-step ideal world flow of how you could get there. Then look at that flow and identify the sticking points by comparing it with your less-than-ideal world situation. Where are the sticking points?

6. How can I improve this process? Instead of looking at it from a problem perspective, look at it as a process improvement exercise. How could you improve your process? How could you improve how you approach it? How could you improve the efforts you are making?

[See more job advice at U.S. News Careers.]

7. Am I the problem? How? No amount of external problem-solving will do the trick if the obstacle is really created by you. Do you have attitudes, habits, beliefs, etc. that are creating this problem?

8. Are there other paths to the end I'm looking for? Write down the obvious way to get from where you are to where you want to go. Then ignore it. Come up with as many other paths as you can think of for getting there.

9. Can I change any of the variables? Often when we look at problems, we see them in terms of a finite set of parameters. List all the variables you see (how much time it takes, who is involved, whether to do something yourself or hire someone to do it, etc.) and play with changing them. What effect could that have?

10. Who has done this before? If someone else has already invented the wheel, don't bang your head bloody trying to create it again. Who else has been up against the problem you're encountering? Can you talk to them? Read about how they approached it?

11. Does this really matter? This might seem like a funny question to include in a list with a problem solving focus, but the ultimate in problem solving is when the problem instantaneously ceases to exist. Sometimes we get so caught up in making something happen, or doing it a certain way, that we don't realize it is taking more of our energy than solving it would benefit us. If you are only trying to solve the problem "because it's there," consider dropping it and focusing your energy and effort elsewhere.

12. What would I do if I didn't think this were a problem? Sometimes our perception that a problem exists becomes the problem itself. Try exploring what you would do if you didn't see whatever you're up against as a problem. The example that comes to mind is two people without a degree. One says, "I don't have a degree, so I'm limited in my options." The other says, "I don't have a degree...now how can I start creating more options?"

13. What information do I need? What information am I missing? Sometimes problems exist because we don't have enough information to solve them. Identifying what information you need and what information you're missing gives you a starting point change that.

14. How would ______ solve this? Get out of your own story and look at it from someone else's point of view. If there is someone you especially admire, or someone who is well known for solving things like this, ask yourself how they would solve it.

15. How would I solve this if I had to take an opposite-brained approach? Are you more naturally linear or creative in your approach to things? Whichever it is, spend some time doing the opposite. Look for resources to help you take an approach to problem-solving that is the opposite of your natural tendencies.

16. How many solutions can I come up with? Don't worry about quality with this one. Go for quantity. Make it a game. You'll probably come up with a whole lot of goofy ideas, but they just might pave the way for some good ones.

17. What new habits could I create that would help me overcome this? If your goals are going to come to fruition, you are the one who is going to have to be the driving force. Are there any habits that could help make you more effective, reducing friction and limitations in the process?

18. How could ____ relate to my problem? At the end of my sessions with clients, I used to pull a tarot card and read the explanation in the accompanying book. There was no divination intent to it. Instead, it was accompanied by the question, "Does this relate to your current situation in any way?" Sometimes it didn't, but 75 percent of the time that question yielded valuable insights. The card offered something specific for their minds to bounce off, helping them make random connections and have unexpected insights.

You can do that with just about anything, whether it is a tarot card, news about miners stuck in a mine (how could this relate to my career?), your favorite artist's approach to painting, or the traffic on the way to work. It offers a way to get outside your standard set of thoughts and associations.

Questions alone won't solve your problems. You also have to combine them with action and persistent, consistent effort. But the more good questions you ask, the more problem-solving potential you have.

After years as a professional malcontent, Curt Rosengren discovered the power of passion. As speaker, author, and coach, Rosengren helps people create careers that energize and inspire them. His book, 101 Ways to Get Wild About, and his E-book, The Occupational Adventure Guide, offer people tools for turning dreams into reality. Rosengren's blog, The M.A.P. Maker, explores how to craft a life of meaning, abundance, and passion.

LIM LIM LIM LIM LIM LIM LIM LIM

2010-10-13T17:45:00.009+08:00

what's the fuss about LIM lately?
Peter lim's taking over Liverpool FC is.
The word "LIM" ranks among the highest hits on Google Search now. That actually scored www.lim.com some free hits :) good for us! (you see, I LIMed the title of this post to score more hits for my blog too)

LIM is really the second most common surname in Singapore and not until now have we got a face more recognisable than his in the LIM family. Eng Hock is his first name and Lim is his last. Peter is his christian name. In Singapore or most Asian countries, it actually sound retarded when you call someone in the sequence of first name, then last name. David Beckham sounds good that way but not Ji Sung Park. He's really really really Park Ji Sung. The commentator never ever get it right and that is annoying! Anyways, speaking of annoying, disgruntled Liverpool fans from all over are crying out louder than usual because they cannot approve of Mr. Super Rich Manchester United fan buying over Anfield and all it means to them. These days, barrage of angry comments threading from a single Peter Lim comment is common on facebook. I call these people evil weasels. I call a bunch of fat girls walking in a row blocking out the walkway evil weasels too.

Anyways, that's about it!
I am a busy man.

Adam!!!! I know you are reading this!!

For everyone else, Adam's my charming office mate from London. Also, if you are a lady and get turned on by a british accent, he's your eligible man. You may pick up the application forms from me.
P.S He's all Manchester United and I am not sure if he is into Chinese girls though.
Oh, and if you are the girl who pretends to be confused in school and get the boys to do your homework, you are out.

LIM was born

2010-10-10T17:53:00.004+08:00

Let's go back in history for a little background on the application. It really started with just the MIM Server and analyst could go in and pull data by just planting raw MIM query syntax into it. It was only much later that a user friendly interface called XMIM was created so that anybody can enter MQL (proprietary MIM query language) into it to create an analysis with events on the market. It was then decided by many industry people that there was not so much need for queries to be ran to derive to their objectives of obtaining historical data - and voila, MIMIC was born. (but MIMIC is really an extraction of data using the MQL.) I can't confirm this part but the earlier process of the MIM Server and our exclusive all-in-one database was probably once a proprietary solution within Enron. Enron went bust and its pple flocked to the rest of the world. They got so used to XMIM and MIMIC that they decided with all their might all their colleagues should get used to it too and then, LIM was born.

Many years later, LIM became pretty much established and subsequently attracted the big guns in the market for a bought over. LIM is now a morningstar company and pops up first when you google it. It must really come a long way to oust the Lim Ah Kows out of the top slot just like what happens when you google paradox of silence. *wink*

I listened to this in October 2010

2010-10-07T16:22:00.002+08:00

cliche but yes, fml

2010-10-06T14:02:00.014+08:00

The road seperating Samsung Hub and Goldenshoe Market is arguably the most jaywalked/ran road in Singapore and today, I decide to jay-run it for the sake of my lunch.

As I waited for the stream of traffic to filter away, so was this dude standing behind me.
No more cars - Chance-se!
I sprinted and he followed suit.
I slowed down because my pants were falling and he did too.
I sped again and he did too.

Wait, did he just tried to use me as his shield? FML.

Sharon's friend is a game designer

2010-10-06T14:02:00.001+08:00

http://www.rocketbirds.com/

The Great Class Divide

2010-10-02T18:07:00.001+08:00

http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2010/10/01/the-great-class-divide-in-singapore/

An idea.

2010-09-27T20:22:00.019+08:00

On the way back occupied with the blogging responsibility to blog (no pun intended!), I was greeted by an awkward couple - the first, a typical heartland ah beng and the second, a fat broken finger man. I was not mistaken of their relationship because fat broken finger man was ushered into the carriage by ah beng's arms around his waist and yes, I was decked between them. While I was conscientiously trying to control the gap between our pelvis bones, obviously terrified at the consequences, my mind started to drift. I thought about my meeting tomorrow with a client whose company name I cannot even remember. I had squeezed my brains for the umpteenth time today trying to wreck up intelligent banters but its just depressingly useless. Then, It was there that I realized why in LOST, I was so intrigued when Desmond said Penny is... an idea.

Tomorrow at 10, I must head to Pasir Panjang for a demonstration of my company's product. His name is Guan Leng and I learnt about this man from a man called Charles who currently works at BP. Guan Leng is interested in my company's product but we were not able to concur on a schedule. After a few emails and calls, we reached an impasse. A meeting a few days ago with BP's Charles over coffee did enough to refresh my memory about Guan Leng and a fresh email to him reignited the sales process. It was a reinvigorating coffee session I must admit. It reminded me of the many lessons I had learnt with the citi people over lunch time. Charles had appeared in my thought as a bright young man through our conversations on yahoo messenger and the phone but this is how Charles really looked like.

Definitely not the one on the left.

Charles is an uncle in every way but he is very willing to share. Charles is currently hired as a MatLab Programmer identifying trading patterns through Quan analysis at BP. It got me curious so I asked how he got to this position and found that he was in a financial analyst role with the Risk Management department before this. A transition from finance to IT is nonetheless impressive. I got carried away and prodded him further into history. He got carried away too and told me about his entire career. He graduated in 1997 from NTU as an engineer. He started as a fresh apprentice performing engineering calculations. A corrupted culture marred with exploitations forced his time and he went on to work for a few years in the industry. He then moved on and became a NTU lecturer for 5 years. Teaching came to an end when he decided he needed a challenge. It brought him to BP risk management and finally to where he is now. He is 38 today. Charles spoke about the debacle that surrounded BP in recent times (the big gulf oil spill, in case you havent been reading the news) and how major adjustment was needed when his boss left. He was visibly upset when he talked about his boss's departure. I have heard enough about the person that impresses the person that impresses me and it was imperative I meet this man. His name is Guan Leng. The lunch session moved into a coffee session. I realized by not being prepared for the unexpected duration of our meeting, I had subconsciously put him in the unenviable position of submitting to my interrogation. How do you like my company's product? What do you not like about? What's your main feedback? How do you think we can move on from here? What do you think is an interim solution in the case of your feedback? But a mutual pact was decided that business is boring so we talked about lighter things, like food, family and friends. He spoke fondly about his daughter and said that Mid Autumm Festival will be spent with loved ones at Chinese garden with pretty lights and everything nice. I had the audacity to tease his resemblance to Adrian Pang (My knack for spotting a Doppelganger!). Truth is I had really hoped we hadn't dwell so much on business and kept our conversations from falling into awkward, silent pitholes - My paradox of silence I say is what this blog is about. In silence, we irk at the morbid anticipation of boredom which leads to loneliness. The darkest silence pushes us to seek companionship and in companionship, we find comfort. But in silences too are when the human minds work wonders and where geniuses are born.

An idea could be a basis for men's greatest inventions. An idea could be a machine that men can work on. An idea defeats the physical boundaries of our environment. An idea connects people. My blog is an idea and I shall write about you - people that fascinates and inspires. That's what my blog is going to be about. Six years of writing and today, I realized its purpose.

I think about people that amazes me (of these a colleague who's just got a meteoric rise in the echelons of M*, A woman much older whose personality suggest nothing of age and when told about the inspiring story of Charles, she taught me about opportunity cost and that ability to point out the obvious, is her forte) and they make me feel I like I should be grasping on lost time. Yet, I am learning inspiring lessons from them all the same. Their stories belong to another time and as for tomorrow, I have a vital job to do. It's time to step out of the shell.

what the LIM!

2010-09-27T17:33:00.001+08:00

Have i posted this before? This is pretty good eh

Hi Ms. Williamson,

It has been a busy week and I apologize for the delay. When I first heard that my potential employer is Lim, I was not sure that I heard it correctly. It occurred to me that I would be working for a rich Chinese man. Lim happens to be the second most common surname in Singapore. I was to find out in a day’s time that LIM stands for Logical Information Machines.
On the home page, I learnt that LIM divides their products and services into three categories, namely, Energy industry solutions, Financial industry solutions, Enterprise services. I downloaded a demonstration video of the company's main software, MIM, as well as a presentation from its Founder, Tony Kolton. The appeal lies in the ability to analyze the past and deliver a pattern of the future in a short time. The same point was reiterated on almost every section of the website. With the release of newer verions of softwares dominating the news page, I was able to conclude that LIM is an IT Company that specializes in Database softwares catering to the needs of the Energy and Financial Industry.

The MIM demo clip brought comparisons with Business Objects, a database software I was exposed to at Citi. Business Objects makes use of SQL (Structured Query Language) to obtain information from the Database. A typical flow looks like this:

Display/update/add/delete information
SELECT * from TABLE

Apply condition
WHERE SALES>20

Result
Name Sales
Tom 22
Jane 28

Both the MIM and Business Objects are based on query language to obtain information from the Database. Both include a worksheet-like-interface that allows you to view the conditions you applied clearly. The most notable difference is that MIM uses buttons instead of typing out SQL functions. Also, I notice that the query language used by MIM is different from SQL. For example, SELECT in SQL is define as SHOW in MIM. The purpose I believe is to accommodate or appeal to users who are not proficient in the structured query language.

I did a quick search on Wiki to affirm my summary and found that MIM uses Historis, a time series database. Historis, unlike a relational database, is optimized and designed to handle the large storage issues and fast data retrieval speeds required by time-series data (real-time, intraday, daily, weekly, monthly).

I believe that mastering such software tools should not be a problem as I had been familiar with a similar application. Moreover, my ability acclimatized with my current role at IBM to learn new applications fast.

However, my Achilles heel remains in that I am still relatively new to the financial market. I had started trading back in April. The financial information that I have been exposed to since I participated in trading has been helpful but I must admit that I am still trying to get to grips with a few terms on the website. Although, I believe my interest in the aforementioned knowledge is likely to put me in a good stead.

I am confident that with due training and time, mastering the role would not be a problem.

unprecedented.

2010-09-27T16:45:00.003+08:00

I have never opened a bottle myself in a club before until St James this year.
I have never took a plane until Bangkok 2 years ago.
I have never gone to Europe until January in London this year, so I have never seen snow too.
I have never had a platinum credit card before.
I have never bought a house.
I have never so many things.
I have never had so much fun!

I am interrupted so many times today, and now, I am just lazy to continue this... haha

happy thoughts

2010-09-21T11:19:00.002+08:00

happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts

The bitch called Mummy

2010-09-20T10:16:00.018+08:00

This morning while I tried to drag myself to wash up - half slumbered, I was approached by my Mom. A solemn tone which brought about a morbid atmosphere. She does it ever so often yet I still feel the morbid nature each time. "Loy-sear, 我跟你讲。。" that's how she will usually start a morbid conversation with me but rather, that's how all our conversations is like for more than the past decade. She said that the addidas shorts that my girlfriend washed and hung this morning is the last because she is more and more 过分 and that's the last of the clothes washing. She then reiterated that I am not contributing to the household and that my father is making the money alone.. bla bla bla blahhhhh.. I had to resist my urge to omit the point that she's a life long bummer and that my sister is taking up to her...

I wonder if it was ever possible to talk sense with her without feeling painful about it. She had thought very highly of Kitty when she first learnt that Kitty is an NUS graduate, in a much eloquent society she won't have the audacity to dream of.
She once tried to talk to me as a human being by asking how old Kitty was. I said she is 5 years older than me and then she said "难怪..". How quick to judge.

That is my mother, the person that brought me to this world through her womb. I believe the notion that carried her through the child birth process was me as a dollar bucket making a living as a neurosurgeon. She was a role model, demonstrated detailedly the ugliness of the human race the best way possible - example. I will not shy away to say I was not physically abused throughout my life. When I was eight, she caned me in the mouth for not flushing the toilet which after 4 hours of interrogation and caning, found that the person who did not flush it was my sister.

All my time as a child, she would rant about how her life is miserable, how she would have had a better life if she had gone with another man, how my Dad was useless. It was routine.
Sometimes, she will stare out of the window by herself and tear. I thought "poor Mummy..."

When I grew in my faith with God, she slapped me for saying this "We believed that...". She said that I was wrong to categorize myself as We.

When I said si pek which means fourth uncle, she slapped me and explained that I should not have said see bei which means dead father. She continued to convince me that I was a bad kid who used profanities and I was convinced.

When I grew older, she claimed to suffer from depression and would proudly display her arsenal of depression pills despite the demise. I would be summoned to the living room, go through long "pep talks" that ran til 4-5am every night. The next day I would go to school and continue my lessons. I then suffered academically and socially. My life was dictated by her instability and this went on for the entirety of my high school life. I thought to myself "I am going to try to change... I made my family so sad ...I am such a bad kid". One night after I failed to do my bed in the morning, she cried and said that there was no longer hope for me and that I was the devil's child. When I was born, my grandfathers passed away within the next week and again, she convinced me that I was a curse. I thought to myself that life will be better for everyone when I am gone. I went up to the highest floor and sat on the ledge. I sat and stared at the people trying to make the best of their lives and then I brood. From fear, I felt sadness. In time, I felt anger and anger transcend to hate. I learned that I was not the devil but she. I had a hard time accepting that my mother is the person I hate. When I came to terms with my emotions, I realized there this was not the end. The good natured choir boy died that day and I drew my legs away from the ledge. So many times, I had to seek refuge in my friend's place. I had stayed over at Furong's, Fabian's, Ling Fong's, Black's etc etc because I never felt I had my own... I had to rediscover my identity away, far away from her.

She grew increasingly disillusioned with her life and at one point, started threatening suicides but I believed this happened because she realized we had grown indifferent to her whining. It was less painful now because she is less to me now

Life went up a million notch when I got enlisted. Every kid hated the army but I loved it because NS was an idea, a haven, a shelter, a refuge and it was a huge learning curve about society and about peple. I grew and dare say I had matured. I went home and tried to accept the ties that were suppose to be but everytime I tried, it failed.. When it fails, it takes me farther away.

One day I went to the doctor Thomas Seng who really did saved me once in my life when I was growing emaciated from nausea reaction with the medication. He told me about his life story how the revelation that he hated his mother was only revealed late on in his life. His Dad left the family because the mother was such a bitch (his words). His mother suffered from Schizophrenia and as a doctor, he agreed with me that such a situation is not really an illness. I have an inkling that I am not the only person going through this shit - growing up, faced with the tribulations of peer pressure, puberty and morality. My colleague shared with me her difficulties growing up from a deranged family, an upbringing fraud with uncertainties, misery and depression... She's tried to help her whole life but they keep messing it up in the end and yet, they never ever learn. I understood how the best way is to sever any emotional connections one might have.

If you are reading this and you are going through something similar, you will understand. Call me cynical but I must reiterate - detached yourself from them because there is no hope in trying.

Can't fight the Mooncake

2010-09-16T16:18:00.009+08:00

This has got to be one of my favourite songs when I was still an innocent teenage boy.
Did we sing this at the KTV over the weekend?? wahahaha.

but check out the best mooncake I've ever ever tasted!

he aint heavy, he's beckham

2010-09-16T01:12:00.001+08:00

What makes you happy

2010-09-15T15:54:00.001+08:00

Only a life full of adventure would keep you truly satisfied. Travel, sightseeing, meeting new and interestion people. You despise the boring everyday rutine, and can't seem to understand the people who force themselves to bear it. The path toward happiness really wont cause you any problems. The life you've had until now has been brimming with excitement, and yet you have so many new and thrilling experiences ahead of you. Such a creative spirit and innovative nature could even lead you to fame, fortune... or,if not, you could always end up being the cool weirdo... (:

How Hello Kitty took over the World without a mouth!

2010-09-13T14:59:00.002+08:00

Kitty Kuan

Irony aside considering my namesake, however the origins of mine have no relevance to this phenomenon.

If you have managed to piece together the clues, this is about the eponymous Kitty of the Hello Kitty movement/brand/religion.

If my memory serves me well, my first encounter would have been a little pouch courtesy of my parents/auntie. It was red and palm-sized and I probably used it to keep my trinkets. The memories were slightly hazy, I recall being enthralled by the Sanrio section in the department store at my childhood ‘hangout’ at (now defunct) Thomson Yaohan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yaohan) and at Plaza Singapura.

My mum would bring both my brother and I for these weekly excursions where he would be attending his music lessons while my mum and I would be window-shopping. It was a mixture of covetousness and fascination as I try to imagine now how Hello Kitty and Friends appeared to me when I was a young and innocent. A rose-tinted world covered with fairy-dust and basking in a warm glow, every little thing seemed so preciously adorable and tagged with a very dear price. Hello Kitty purses and notebooks and glittery stickers, plush toys, I would feel it and pick it up and admire every piece that caught my eye and reluctantly put it back but not without taking a second look.

As much as I hope that I was a little princess (by birth/accident/coincidence), like every little girl wishes to be - courtesy of Disney cartoons and fairy tales; my family hasn’t an inkling of royal blood or deep pockets to indulge in my whim. Oh how grand it would be living in a Hello Kitty palace filled with all that is pink and feline. My socks to my teacups will be adorned with the Hello Kitty silhouette.

The fantasies and being unattainable fueled my fascination for HK (we shall use this abbreviation from now, with no less respect the cat of course).

Adolescent started to creep in and as all of us has gone thru teenage angst and the rage of hormones. This whirlwind of our life was bordering on excitement, boredom, anger, confusion, and cluelessness and possibly downright suicidal. All of us were trying to fit-in and shrug our childhood and parents. Cutesy gave way to cool nonchalance.

HK had to take a hiatus from my life until I re-discovered her in my early adulthood. I had just embarked on my working life thus I was on the cusp of financial-autonomy. Thankfully I wasn’t a blind HK fan, I was selective in my collections. Without a word of warning though, McDonalds decided to launch the HK Wedding Toy Dolls (gasp!). I tried to be cool when I learned about it, I wasn’t one of those that hunted every Mac outlet or camped overnight to get their hands on the prize (I mean toys). Singapore was launched full-forced into an island-wide frenzy, even my mum got more excited than me, she kept egging me to get them and if I didn’t she could get it for me (she maybe stern but I know she loves me). I eventually got a set of the spacesuit Kitties which I thought were the cutest.

Blood was spilled, fists were unleashed, tears fell and it’s as ugly as a Singaporean can get. Everyone ate, drank, breathed HK (McDonalds). What super size me? Be-damned! What ever happened to the innocent little kitty who couldn’t even talk to save her life? Thankfully it was over but there were still random HK toys that were launched with the Happy Meals. I probably have quite a collection of these though. My best purchase so far? A T-shirt in collaboration with Public Library, a cult-brand from the U.S. It costs more than twice of top you would find in a mid-priced store. I absolutely love it till today although it’s gotten a little of worse for wear.

That day didn’t turn out as well as I had hoped; I had tried my luck again at the SIA interview. I tried to look as bimbotic as possible but apparently I’m still lacking the appeal that the fat-cats (those middle-aged fat bozos sitting in their armchairs) were looking for. Then again, age could have been a factor… After the whole fiasco, I was feeling lousy. I called Aloysius and I told him what happened asked if he could meet me in such short notice. The eager young boy was keen and we were strolling along town and I came across a corner shop in the Heeren and guess what caught my attention? My eyes twinkled and I smiled, my day wasn’t so bad after all! She was decked in a Chanel suit in the lightest shade of pink and gray along with accents of gold. It was perfect! My heart sang and I jumped around in the shop trying it on with the sweetest pair of jeans with stars on my bum haha. Dear Aloysius complimented me and from then on, till this day he’s still mesmerized by how I look(ed).

I fear that there will be no end to this story. I can hardly explain the rationale behind my (controlled) obsession with HK. Her appeal seems limitless and she’s omni-present (almost), she can be found in convenience stores, fast-food outlets, supermarkets, toy stores, mass-media, the list goes on…. Girls and grown-women alike have gone gaga over her and men have pulled their hairs over their partner’s incomprehensible obsession ( www.kittyhell.com.) Age has proven to be not to be a deterrent to HK, on the contrary it seems to have magnified.

I’ll always have abit of her with me, be it a little purse or my trusty MAC blusher. Hail the Cat!

Kitty Kuan is a columnist in her own right and is based in Singapore

lessons

2010-09-13T10:54:00.004+08:00

I watched Dive yesterday on Okto.
It's a Japanese film centered around mainly 3 aspiring teenagers who had to overcome obstacles to achieve something. It is amazing because the show reminds me of my life as a football player - Dedicating your day to improving myself in foodball. I understood why I stretch myself to the maximum to be as flexible as possible. I understood why I ran everyday so that I attain maximum stamina.
I understood discipline.

Coach Asaki most famous line from the show - you have diamond eyes. an ability to picture a still even at the highest speed. an ability useless in daily lives but one a diver would die for.
I can promise one thing that you will get better.
You want to get up there, the view is one that only you are entitled to.

I knew what that meant. Tiger Woods said something similar.

Tomo Sakai went on to work doubly hard to surpass what he never thought was possible, a 4.5 turn dive. Even before this, he was working harder than anyone. He wanted to break out of his limits, the limits layed down on him by his parents. His parents never thought too much of him. One night when Tomo grew disillusioned with his own life, he asked his parents if they had any ambitions for him. They were caught off guard. Amused, they replied, we just want you to be happy and healthy.

In the Last Samurai, Tom Cruise was told that the Japanese Samurai wakes up every morning perfecting the only art that they have pursued. In the scene, a Samurai practiced his archery skill as soon as the sun rises.

That is what I understood as the Japanese way of life. You are responsible for that discipline. You are responsible for your limits.
I want to work very hard to understand my limits just like Tomo did. I was close once, I felt the limitless boundaries of youth but an injury dragged me behind but it is not all too late.

What if you were given the knowledge of the day you die? You would never think any moment is enough. You will want to find your limit before that. I want to live.

In Lost, when Miles plucked off a white hair off Richard. He smiled which prompted Miles to ask "what's so funny?" and Richard replied "Now I know I want to live". He was alive for centuries but he never lived. He just survived.

I know I am alive but I must live. The Marathon is here.

criticism made constructive

2010-09-03T15:42:00.003+08:00

Dear Reader,

Enter the new week and I will embark on a essay writing phenomena. It will be about the study that I made, understood and convey it in the best way via vocabulary. This should be made easy with my fascination with the english language.
You as the reader can comment and make a mess of my blog. I welcome criticism because I badly need someone to whack me when I am not right. Thank you.

Alvin's advice

2010-09-03T15:15:00.002+08:00

1. Provide Arguments in your essay and make sure that you get your facts right with quotes. Without quotes, there are no points awarded. With that said, you can still qualify for a pass if you can provide a textbook answer. But the trick, as Alvin reitereated is to outdo the next participant taking the exam.

2. You have to be very mindful of the exam reports provided by the lecturers. They will show you how a question is like and how an answer is like. That is where the difference is with the textbook.

I summed up my own. Understanding the concepts off the textbook is a solid foundation that you are not suppose to be without. So that's a first before putting a little creativity into your writings.

blabbering

2010-09-03T14:07:00.003+08:00

Its an addiction and almost like what retail therapy has done to me. The gold packs did. I just splurge 18 packs in a row and I got no good players. That is painful shit.
I feel emptiness very much the same way if I had bought something and not feel satisfied about it. What would I do, I buy somemore. That's addiction, that's a problem but that's my problem.

Emptiness is a scary thing. What is that? Usually it happens when you felt that you have lost something. In my case, my gold coins did not warrant a proper trade.
You then want to fill it up with something but you are not sure what. You can binge eat, binge smoke, binge drink, hurt yourself or just do something reckless but they are hardly any good. I have tried swimming 45 laps in a shot and hurt myself bad but maybe what I need is oxygen and company. Now I am writing because I can't binge eat but that's okay. I think I am generating health problems by being so anal with myself so I am going to quit the game, at least until proper features appear in the game like a change of statistics. DFB created a superstar team with the lure of real money in a flash.

I am fascinated with how this works because in a world of card games. This, object-orientated programming brought people from all the world together and compiled data that was never possible with the technology called facebook. Why? because when you think about the top dollar softwares that your company adopts, none come as simple, efficient and well designed as facebook gives you.

I am probably blabbering but then again.. its a fucking blog... so there

10 interview questions to ask as an interviewee

2010-08-30T10:36:00.000+08:00

Karen Burns, On Wednesday 25 August 2010, 22:54 SGT

You're interviewing for a job. After 20 or 30 minutes, you're asked: "Do you have any questions?"

The worst thing you can do is ask, "What is it your company does?" (Hey, it has happened.) The next worst thing you can do is say, "Um, nope, I don't have any questions."

You need to ask some questions! Asking questions shows your interest in a company and makes you look smarter (smart people tend to be inquisitive). Asking questions gives interviewers a chance to talk about themselves, a thing most people love. And--this is important--asking questions is a way to find out if you really want to work for these people.

Bottom line: Don't make the interviewer do all the heavy lifting. Take an active role in the interview process and improve your chances of landing a job.

So what should you ask? Here are 10 suggestions:

1. "Can you describe a typical day for someone in this position?" If your interviewer appears to be nervous or ill at ease, a non-abstract question like this is a good way to get the ball rolling.

2. "Could you talk about the history of this position?" Specifically, what you're trying to find out is how long the position has existed, how many people have held it, and why it is now available.

3. "What were the major strengths and weaknesses of the last person who held this job?" Or in other words, what kind of act would you have to follow. This is also a chance to find out what happened to your would-be predecessor. How this question is answered will tell you a lot about the dynamics and expectations of this workplace.

4. "What are this position's biggest challenges?" You're naturally curious about the downsides of the job. But find out in a way that makes you look confident and unafraid to tackle problems.

5. "In what area could your team use some improvement?" Do you get an honest-sounding answer? This is important. It's also an opportunity to talk some more about how your skills specifically match this company's needs.

[See more career advice at the U.S.News Careers site.]

6. "What are the prospects for advancement?" Asking this demonstrates that you have ambition, and makes you look like a big picture person.

7. "How would I be evaluated?" If you want to know an employer's true priorities, and what is really important about the position under discussion, ask this.

8. "Who are the most successful people in this company and why?" A clever way to get a glimpse of a company's values/ethos/culture and how the powers-that-be measure success.

9. "Why do you enjoy working at this company?" Okay, it's a softball question. But the answer, and the tone in which it is given, should tell you a lot. Basically, you are looking to see some sincere enthusiasm here.

10. "Do you have any reservations about me or my ability to perform this job?" It's a gutsy thing to ask. But consider doing so because it's a great way to get real-time feedback on you and your interview skills. Asking for criticism not only earns you points for courage, it could result in some very helpful information.

P.S. Do not ask questions that would be easily answered by consulting the company's website. You will look unprepared, even lazy. You'll also lose the opportunity to gather some valuable insight about this employer and the job on offer.

Karen Burns is the author of the illustrated career advice book The Amazing Adventures of Working Girl: Real-Life Career Advice You Can Actually Use, recently released by Running Press. She blogs at www.karenburnsworkinggirl.com.

no pun intended

2010-08-24T17:16:00.001+08:00

no pun intended but the new add in is trying to mimic MIMIC

The Hierachy of his nation.

2010-08-23T12:15:00.005+08:00

Where I grew up in, I would naturally expect to step into my father’s shoe. My Mother is a homemaker and my father a mechanic with Singapore Bus services. He is a blue collar worker that works in a bus garage. As a kid, I figured that it would be easier for me to be a bus driver. I never really understood aspirations just decency - a proper job for a proper living. There and then, I had little dissonance and was readily influenced by nurture.
There are more realities to Singapore than we know it and so I forced myself to break out. Each time I surprised myself how far I can go, I know I am breaking further. The correct product of my parents would be my sister.

The cost-of-living complaint that you hear all too often falls on powerful (wealthy) deaf ears. Recent published statistic showed 11.4% of people living here are millionaires.
Read http://www.dailyfinance.com/story/where-the-worlds-millionaires-live-the-top-10-countries/19510242/
How about this one? More than 80% of Singapore's population live in HDB flats.
Let’s not forget that these 80% probably includes children, housewives, the elderly dependant and the unemployed … etc. Wait a minute, you are probably thinking, that the millionaires live in HDB… The current value of flats is in the range of 350K to 450K which means, it’s hardly half a million yet and now let’s try to imagine what the intrinsic value of this houses are 40 years ago. A flat will cost in the range of 20k to 30k. 40 years on, and they have increased by more than a 1000 percent. When you place the time value of money of the Singapore dollar with the price of flats, I doubt you would find any correlation. With that said, it is difficult to believe a certain minister’s claim that these “houses” are affordable. Let me explain “houses”. When my colleague came over from London, she asked if young Singaporeans considered living in houses instead. What struck me was not the question but how she did not acknowledged HDB as houses. A house needs to be on land and has a small garden. Affordable plight you say?

Let’s consider this other statistic too. We are turning minority. Read http://www.temasekreview.com/2009/10/05/are-local-born-singaporeans-becoming-a-minority-in-their-own-country/
And this isn’t helping when our leader says this: Read http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2010/08/16/four-key-reasons-behind-singapore-success-mm-lee/
“But one of the areas Singapore is doing very poorly in is its total fertility rate which presently stands at 1.22, far below the 2.1 needed for a population to replace itself. The solution, he said, was to bring in immigrants from Malaysia, China, India, and the region.” Quoted from above article.

So there, there doesn’t seem to be any objective here which brings me to the point, raising a child here. Singular kid. It is absolutely not conducive to raise a child here. When you have a child, you worry about if your kid becomes clever enough to survive society. Societal change is extremely fervour here and people should adapt if not outcasted. We worry enough for ourselves in our lifetime and we worry next what might happen to our children’s lifetime? Only the elite survives here and if our child fail to become elite, then they fail. If they do not top the class, they fail. If they do not achieve tenth grade in piano, they fail. If they do not master lifeguard in swimming, they fail. If they do not do anything close to perfection, that’s failure. Ultimately, we worry that our children will end up leading our own lives so we hope or rather expect our children to do better.
There’s a gap and I have spent my entire life filling it.
My father is a blue collar worker and I try to fill up the gap in the hierarchy here. I work hard and find my own resolution to the gap. People who are born with more affluent backgrounds fill that gap easier. Let’s say Harry is born in a family of doctors and lawyers, he is likely to grow up doing a similar field. Let’s say Harry is born in a family selling Kao Lak (charcoal-cooked chesnut), he will likely be in a similar industry. The Kao Lak selling old man would say to his kid, "if you don't study hard, you will end up like me, selling kao lak in the sweltering heat!" but that's really all he can do or say (without the word sweltering if the conversation was in English). Whereas the educated family will offer so much more, anything to enrich the child's growing mind. The kao lak's kid must realize that he must force himself out of the Matrix but I honestly doubt so. As a kid I can afford nothing and wore the same clothes in all of my primary school and early secondary school years. It was embarrassing in school when you learnt that your classmates owned things that you can only ever consider a luxury. Even when everyone else went for tuition classes you can only dwell in your misfortune. After sometime, I believed that luck had to do with this and it was easy to believed that because everyone including your parents imbued that cognitive dissonance into you.

People will argue that the Beethoven’s exist but for every Beethoven story, I am sure you will find 999,999 failures.
See below for the chart. Let’s say the scale refers to the intelligence or capability of the person with the maximum score 15.
The last subject, PM shows the top of the hierarchy.

We worry a lot as Singaporeans and that’s probably why we are a prospering nation but is that all worth it? A prospering nation for the whos and what-nots?

damn funny summary

2010-08-19T10:51:00.000+08:00

http://forums.asiaone.com/showthread.php?t=30602&page=56#551

Default Re: Friend's husband seduced by china girl - 26-07-2010, 02:08 AM
When young, SG girls are slim, pretty, sophisticated and intelligent so kena tempted to marry. Then find out after unwrapping that got no neh neh, low sex drive and dead fish in bed. Somemore don't know how to cook and do housework.

Five years into the marriage, not so slim and pretty anymore, sophisticated and intelligent become nagging and grouchy. This is when the men are about
32-38, and realise tio pian, BIG TIME.

China, Pinoy, Thai, Taiwan and nowadays increasingly more Jap and Korean women find SG men best. Compared to the men in their own country, SG men are less chavinistic, ham sup, educated and wah lau eh, can speak the English somemore. Hong Kong don't want cause like SGD girl think angmo is high class and don't appreciate SG men.

These women from Chian or whatever come with hot bod, got neh neh, know hot to cook and clean and very importantly, think SG men are a catch. Compared to SG women who just 'settle' for SG men.

So at the end of the day, why stick with the SG girl who don't even appreciate SG men?

There are two ways to a man's heart - his kukubird and stomach. Ie. great in bed and know how to cook. These are skills SG girl don't have.

They only have one skill - like to communicate and share feelings (Zzzzz). But only the gay boy like to do this leh.

So all you straight men, nothing wrong with you going for foreign talent. The marriage was a mistake, how you know your SG wife is a dud and there is a big better world out there?The SG girl blame the foreign talent for taking their men but who ask them don't treasure the SG men and learn some skills in bed? haha.

Nice article by Yan Zhang

2010-08-13T16:46:00.001+08:00

This is an extract from Today

What's fair value when returning a favour?
by Yan Zhang
05:55 AM Aug 13, 2010
According to the Singapore Kindness Movement, Singaporeans have become more gracious. Discussions in the media, however, throw up polarised views as to whether indeed this is so.

Perhaps graciousness has improved selectively. The overcrowding in trains and buses, with some passengers refusing to move to the back of the bus or squeeze to accommodate another passenger, are examples of ungraciousness.

While encouraging people to say "please" and "thank you" will improve graciousness, another effective, but largely ignored way of fostering a more courteous society, is to promote the notion of reciprocity.

Reciprocity is the social glue that binds groups and societies together. Much like cooperative economic life - where markets are based on a system in which goods and services are traded for their market value - cooperative social life is likewise based on a system of exchange. Pro-social acts are traded and favours are returned based on their social value.

For instance, we are more likely to say "yes" to a colleague's request for help if the colleague had helped us before. When it comes to giving up seats to someone in need, although we may not see our chances of having the favour returned as being high, a small return such as a smile or a "thank you" could make us more likely to oblige.

The saying, "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours", suggests that people expect favours done for others to be returned in kind, thus maintaining a sense of equity in social relationships. In Asia, we see reciprocity at work in both business and social norms. One of the cornerstones of "guanxi", or networking, in Chinese business is based on reciprocity.

How much we decide to reciprocate for a given pro-social action becomes an important question. Understanding the social exchange rate - how much a person needs to reciprocate in order to match another's expectation of a fair reciprocity - will help maintain a sense of equity in social relations and promote a more courteous society.

We undertook a study to identify the challenges involved in maintaining a sense of equity in social relations, and explored when people are likely to feel fairly valued.

COST VS BENEFIT

If, for instance, you took the effort to get the Youth Olympic Games (YOG) opening ceremony tickets for a friend, how much would you expect your friend to reciprocate? And how far would your friend be willing to return for that favour?

We found that favour-givers expect to be reciprocated more when they incur a high cost. So, if you had to pull some strings to get the tickets, you expect your friend to reciprocate more than if you merely had to buy the tickets online.

While this is to be expected, what is interesting is that how much givers expect to get in return is not affected by the benefits they had provided. Whether the YOG tickets were for seats with a superior or inferior view does not factor much into how you expect to be reciprocated.

What about the favour receivers? We found just the opposite. How far receivers are willing to reciprocate is mostly based on the benefit they receive, and not the cost incurred by the giver.

Thus, in the YOG ticket example, receivers tend to reciprocate more if you had gotten them a good seat, as opposed to a seat with a poor view; but the effort you spent to get the tickets would likely be overlooked.

In short, there is a discrepancy between givers and receivers: Favour givers expect to be reciprocated on the basis of incurred cost, whereas favour-receivers tend to reciprocate based on the benefits. As a result, inter-personal frictions arise when costs and benefits are mismatched.

For instance, when a person has to go through great lengths to get a ticket, albeit one for a bad seat, the favour-receiver may reciprocate too little and risk being perceived as ungrateful or unfair.

On the other hand, when one can easily buy a ticket for a good seat, a favour-receiver may reciprocate too much, wasting resources and making the giver feel indebted.

Fortunately, such inter-personal frictions can be minimised by asking people to consider the perspective of the other individual.

In this regard, Singapore's Courtesy Campaign helps encourage people to be more thoughtful of others. By instilling this virtue, people become more socially aware and more equitable relationships are fostered. Indeed, graciousness begets graciousness.

Yan Zhang is Assistant Professor in Marketing, NUS Business School, specialising in consumer psychology and social cognition. This article is based on her research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, in collaboration with Nicholas Epley at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business.